Wow. I'm really pregnant. Almost full term pregnant. It's so amazing, I still can't believe it.
This weekend we had a big storm and our power went out Friday night around 5. The power part wasn't that bad- I can deal without lights & t.v. It was the no air conditioning that really sucked. I slept like crap Friday night, then Saturday we stayed at my parent's house so we could cool down. We worked on the baby's room yesterday, and by 2 p.m. I had to stop because my feet swelled up like giant sausages. I finally sat in front of a box fan and cried (we had a generator, but all it could power was our fridge and one fan). Pregnancy hormones and extreme heat are a bad combo. DH didn't say a word, he just turned the fan towards me and let me cry. Our power came back on last night around 7:30. I have never been so grateful for electricity. I'm also thankful that we didn't have any storm damage and that neither of us were hurt.
I had my last shower this weekend at my in-laws. I put together a photo album of all of baby T's ultrasound pics and the belly pics I take weekly. I also did something really FHy, and I apologize in advance. I made a slideshow of my belly pics to share. I couldn't figure out how to get it in this post, so here is a link if you want to check it out. I will post nursery pics soon!
Monday, July 2, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
We have a date!
I had a doctor's appointment this morning and my OB is scheduling me for a c-section on Monday, July 23. Wow! That's exactly 4 weeks from today. I can't believe she will be here so soon. I am so excited.
Of course I still worry every day that something will go wrong, but I've gotten a lot better. I got the book that my yoga instructor read from and I want to share a passage with you. The book is Journey to the Heart, by Melody Beattie. The passage is called "Don't Worry."
"Worrying doesn't help. Our worries haven't prevented one disaster along the way. At times, the only thing they've prevented is our joy. Our worries are fear. We say, I will worry and be fearful until things have worked out, only then can I relax and enjoy. Our worries are self-punishment, a form of not forgiving ourselves, not loving ourselves, not trusting.
We may think that worrying helps ward off trouble, but that's an illusion. Sometimes worrying brings troubles upon us, because we're so caught up in our fear that we don't take the responsible steps we need to take. By neglecting our lives due to worry and fear, we may bring needless consequences upon ourselves.
The lesson is trust. When we're trusting, we let go of our fear, confident that what we want and need will come. We trust that if what comes appears to be trouble or hardship, we will get what we need to get through that, too. When we trust, we get peaceful first, before we get what we want, before we see what the future brings.
Worry and fear are the opposite of love.
Love yourself more that you ever have.
Love yourself enough to stop worrying.
Love yourself enough to give yourself the gift of peace."
Powerful, huh?
35 weeks!
Of course I still worry every day that something will go wrong, but I've gotten a lot better. I got the book that my yoga instructor read from and I want to share a passage with you. The book is Journey to the Heart, by Melody Beattie. The passage is called "Don't Worry."
"Worrying doesn't help. Our worries haven't prevented one disaster along the way. At times, the only thing they've prevented is our joy. Our worries are fear. We say, I will worry and be fearful until things have worked out, only then can I relax and enjoy. Our worries are self-punishment, a form of not forgiving ourselves, not loving ourselves, not trusting.
We may think that worrying helps ward off trouble, but that's an illusion. Sometimes worrying brings troubles upon us, because we're so caught up in our fear that we don't take the responsible steps we need to take. By neglecting our lives due to worry and fear, we may bring needless consequences upon ourselves.
The lesson is trust. When we're trusting, we let go of our fear, confident that what we want and need will come. We trust that if what comes appears to be trouble or hardship, we will get what we need to get through that, too. When we trust, we get peaceful first, before we get what we want, before we see what the future brings.
Worry and fear are the opposite of love.
Love yourself more that you ever have.
Love yourself enough to stop worrying.
Love yourself enough to give yourself the gift of peace."
Powerful, huh?
Monday, June 18, 2012
Much better
I am so grateful that I had a much better week health wise. My gallbladder still hurt a lot, but nothing unbearable, and thankfully my digestion and everything else is back to normal. I'm keeping the hemmies under control so no bleeding there either. I also gained 3 pounds! My OB was pleased because I hadn't gained in a couple weeks. People keep telling me how small I look and how great I look for being over 30 weeks pregnant. I've only gained about 22 pounds now. I usually respond by telling them I've had a lot of health issues and haven't been able to eat a whole lot. I don't want people thinking I'm vain and I've been watching my weight- because that is definitely NOT the case! I'm grateful that most of my weight is in my belly, but this gallbladder pain and diarrhea have been awful and I would trade them for weight gain any day.
I did a lot of research last week about a c-section vs. a vaginal delivery with fibroids. My OB and I talked about it more at my appointment last week. We decided the safest way to get baby T here is by c-section. I have so many fibroids that there is the possibility that there could be some blocking the birth canal. There is just no way to see them all on ultrasound, especially with the baby there too. The last thing I want is to try a vaginal birth and have her get stuck or have me hemorrhage because of a fibroid. Of course, there is the possibility that my OB will make the c-section incision and there will be a bunch of fibroids in her way there too, but at least she will be prepared and the baby will not be in distress. I went back and forth- but I am okay with a c-section. Whatever gets her here! We discussed July 25, but it is not set in stone yet. That is only 5 weeks away. OMG. I'm going to have a baby in 5 weeks or less. Crazy.
I still have a small neighborhood baby shower and a shower with my in-laws, so we haven't finished the nursery yet. We started it- but right now it's filled with boxes and bags because we don't want to open anything until the showers are over. We do have a crib, just no mattress yet. It's still so surreal to me. My anxiety and worry have been better. I still have days where I worry about stillbirth or something happening to her now, but I try to stop myself. I took a prenatal yoga class last week and the instructor read a poem about worry during class. The message was wonderful. It was about how worrying is robbing yourself of joy. I ordered the book it was in so I will share it with you when it comes. This was my first yoga class and I loved it. I wish I would've started sooner. I wasn't very good at it because I'm not flexible, but I still enjoyed the relaxation. I'm bummed that there is no class this week but I will definitely go back next week. In the meantime I hope to enjoy these last few weeks with my baby girl kicking and moving inside me. I'm the luckiest person in the world!
I did a lot of research last week about a c-section vs. a vaginal delivery with fibroids. My OB and I talked about it more at my appointment last week. We decided the safest way to get baby T here is by c-section. I have so many fibroids that there is the possibility that there could be some blocking the birth canal. There is just no way to see them all on ultrasound, especially with the baby there too. The last thing I want is to try a vaginal birth and have her get stuck or have me hemorrhage because of a fibroid. Of course, there is the possibility that my OB will make the c-section incision and there will be a bunch of fibroids in her way there too, but at least she will be prepared and the baby will not be in distress. I went back and forth- but I am okay with a c-section. Whatever gets her here! We discussed July 25, but it is not set in stone yet. That is only 5 weeks away. OMG. I'm going to have a baby in 5 weeks or less. Crazy.
I still have a small neighborhood baby shower and a shower with my in-laws, so we haven't finished the nursery yet. We started it- but right now it's filled with boxes and bags because we don't want to open anything until the showers are over. We do have a crib, just no mattress yet. It's still so surreal to me. My anxiety and worry have been better. I still have days where I worry about stillbirth or something happening to her now, but I try to stop myself. I took a prenatal yoga class last week and the instructor read a poem about worry during class. The message was wonderful. It was about how worrying is robbing yourself of joy. I ordered the book it was in so I will share it with you when it comes. This was my first yoga class and I loved it. I wish I would've started sooner. I wasn't very good at it because I'm not flexible, but I still enjoyed the relaxation. I'm bummed that there is no class this week but I will definitely go back next week. In the meantime I hope to enjoy these last few weeks with my baby girl kicking and moving inside me. I'm the luckiest person in the world!
Saturday, June 9, 2012
More sickness (lots of TMI)
This past week was another rough one for me. Last Saturday I started to feel sick, and I spent most of the night as well as all day Sunday in bed. My stomach just wasn't right. I had no appetite, and diarrhea again. Monday wasn't much better. I knew for several weeks that I had a small hemorrhoid, but it hadn't bothered me much so I didn't give it much thought. Until Tuesday. The days of multiple trips to the bathroom with diarrhea had apparently made the hemorrhoid much worse and it multiplied. They were bleeding like crazy and extremely painful. Of course I called the OB and left a message because the blood scared me. My mom assured me that bleeding is normal for them, but I couldn't even sit on the toilet to pee without blood. It's just nerve wracking to see that when I've spent the last 32 weeks carefully inspecting my toilet paper to make sure I wasn't spotting. The OB called back and my mom was right- bleeding is normal from hemmies and I just need to make myself as comfortable as possible. The nurse suggested Vitamin E. I spent most of Tuesday afraid to pee and had a hard time sitting. It was pretty miserable. I tried the Vitamin E trick that night and also used loads of witch hazel and Prep.aration H. Somehow that combination stopped the bleeding, but I still woke up at 2 am with horrible diarrhea again. I'm not really sure where my intestines are at this point, but I could tell they were angry. My whole body felt like it was rumbling.
I had an OB appointment Thursday, but I made an appointment with my regular doctor (Dr. S) on Wednesday because the diarrhea had me so concerned. Oh, did I mention that this whole time I still had excruciating gallbladder pain? I cried to DH on Monday and told him I just can't leave the house because I'm in so much pain. I can't even lay comfortably anymore. Not to mention that I had pinching hemmies no matter what position I put myself in. I told all of this to Dr. S, who is also my cousin so I feel like she truly cares about my well being and doesn't just see me as her patient. She felt around under my ribs and said my gallbladder still isn't tender to the touch so it's most likely reflux. She thought I had so much acid built up in my body that it had disturbed my entire digestive system. I had been taking an acid reducer almost every day, but this past week for some reason I stopped because I didn't feel as much acid in my throat. Dr. S prescribed a stronger acid reducer and told me I must take it twice a day. I think she was right because after a few days on the meds I'm feeling so much better. Things are returning to normal. The hemmies are still there and most likely will stay until after Baby T gets here, but at least they aren't bleeding and I'm able to keep the discomfort to a minimum.
On Thursday I told my OB about all my sickness drama and we talked about options for delivery. Originally we discussed a C section because of my low lying placenta, but now she feels it has moved up enough for me to deliver vaginally. If we do a C section there is the danger of her cutting into one of my fibroids. She also said she won't let me go past 39 weeks, so as long as things are favorable she will induce me then. There are still several more weeks and things could change, but at this point baby T should be arriving the by the week of July 23. Holy cow!
Despite the drama and sickness, despite the fact that I feel I will never sit comfortably on a toilet again, I am still the luckiest person in the world to be growing this baby girl inside me. I will do it all over again 100 times over if it means a healthy baby. Keep growing in there baby T!
I had an OB appointment Thursday, but I made an appointment with my regular doctor (Dr. S) on Wednesday because the diarrhea had me so concerned. Oh, did I mention that this whole time I still had excruciating gallbladder pain? I cried to DH on Monday and told him I just can't leave the house because I'm in so much pain. I can't even lay comfortably anymore. Not to mention that I had pinching hemmies no matter what position I put myself in. I told all of this to Dr. S, who is also my cousin so I feel like she truly cares about my well being and doesn't just see me as her patient. She felt around under my ribs and said my gallbladder still isn't tender to the touch so it's most likely reflux. She thought I had so much acid built up in my body that it had disturbed my entire digestive system. I had been taking an acid reducer almost every day, but this past week for some reason I stopped because I didn't feel as much acid in my throat. Dr. S prescribed a stronger acid reducer and told me I must take it twice a day. I think she was right because after a few days on the meds I'm feeling so much better. Things are returning to normal. The hemmies are still there and most likely will stay until after Baby T gets here, but at least they aren't bleeding and I'm able to keep the discomfort to a minimum.
On Thursday I told my OB about all my sickness drama and we talked about options for delivery. Originally we discussed a C section because of my low lying placenta, but now she feels it has moved up enough for me to deliver vaginally. If we do a C section there is the danger of her cutting into one of my fibroids. She also said she won't let me go past 39 weeks, so as long as things are favorable she will induce me then. There are still several more weeks and things could change, but at this point baby T should be arriving the by the week of July 23. Holy cow!
Despite the drama and sickness, despite the fact that I feel I will never sit comfortably on a toilet again, I am still the luckiest person in the world to be growing this baby girl inside me. I will do it all over again 100 times over if it means a healthy baby. Keep growing in there baby T!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
The Home Stretch
I only have 9 weeks left of this pregnancy. I can't believe it. Time has flown, but passed slowly at the same time. I've been doing better- my gallbladder still hurts often- but I've resigned myself to the fact that it's just going to hurt until baby T gets here. I can't wait for the pain to go away, but at the same time I am sad that this pregnancy will be ending soon. It's such a bittersweet feeling. I am so excited to hold, hug, and kiss my little girl, but I will mourn the loss of my pregnant belly- because I don't know if I will ever be lucky enough to experience this again. I've had my share of health issues and problems, but I would do it all again in a heartbeat. Even if the pain were 100 times worse. I still feel like the luckiest person in the world because I am growing a person inside me. I get to see what DH and I created together. Will she have my eyes or his? What color will her hair be? It's such miracle, and so strange to think that this is how all of us got here. We all grew inside another person. When she comes out I will have to share her. I will miss feeling her kicks and rolls (even if they are getting a little painful), and I will miss watching my body change as she grows. I don't care if I have stretch marks, loose skin, and saggy boobs when this is over. I will look at them and know that they provided a place for my little girl to grow and thrive. I try to be somewhat anonymous on this blog, but my stepsister took a picture of me at my shower last weekend and I think you can see the pure joy I'm feeling- so you are getting a rare pic that includes my face, as well as my 31 week belly pic. Keep growing baby T- you're almost ready to join us on the outside!
Monday, May 21, 2012
More drama
This weekend it was back to L&D again. I started having a really bad gallbladder attack on Wednesday. The pain wouldn't ease up no matter what I did. It was even keeping me up at night. I spent Thursday and Friday eating super bland foods hoping the pain would subside. On Saturday I was still miserable and Dr. G.oogle had me convinced that my gallbladder was infected and I was dying. I hate him. I think he tries to convince everyone that they are going to die. So back to the hospital I went. DH joked and said I must have a boyfriend there.
This trip was not like the two other quick ones. They were busy and I had to wait almost an hour to be seen. I started to second guess myself and even told the check-in nurse that I wanted to go home. She said I felt bad enough to come in, so should really get checked out. They got me back into a bed and the doctor came to see me right away. He said he wanted an ultrasound of my gallbladder and then we would go from there. So I waited. For almost 5 hours. I didn't bring anything with me because I didn't think I would be there long. I also couldn't get cell service in the area they had me. I was so bored. I was alone and had a mini-breakdown around hour 4. I cried to the nurse (a new nurse because the shift had changed) that I couldn't lay there any more. I was starving and going crazy. They wouldn't let me eat until after the ultrasound. I had barely eaten all day because my gallbladder was hurting so bad. The new nurse wasn't very nice and told me I could go home if I wanted! I told her I'd been waiting 4 hours for my ultrasound and if I left now then I've waited for nothing. I thought she was rude, but maybe she thought I was crazy because I was crying hysterically. I blame hormones and hunger.
About 45 minutes after my breakdown the ultrasound tech showed up. Apparently they only have 1 on a Saturday and she had an ER case before mine. I still don't get why that took 4 hours, but what do I know? Hospital time is different, I guess. She did the ultrasound and said a radiologist would read it and the doctor would get back to me. Great....I figured the radiologist would only take a few more hours to read the damn thing. Surprisingly it was only about 20 minutes. The nurse came to release me and said my gallbladder looked fine, but I had some swelling around my kidneys. Awesome, something else for me to worry about! She said to stick to a low fat diet because of my pain and to avoid anything drinks except water (which I already do). She talked to my OB and she said we would talk more at my regular appointment this Thursday. I still don't understand why my gallbladder hurts so bad if it's not sludgy or has stones, but I will just have to deal with it.
I started to freak out about my kidneys, but my friend assured me that they wouldn't have sent me home if it was a huge concern. I went to acupuncture today and my acu doc explained that my kidneys are working for two lives right now instead of one, so it only makes sense that they are a little stressed. He said my coloring, pulse, and blood pressure were all great so I shouldn't worry. I told him I drink a gallon of water a day (I've been doing that since my amniotic fluid was low about 10 weeks ago) and he said that was probably overkill and could be too much for my kidneys. As far I as know my fluid is normal now so I can just stick to a normal amount of water. I've been really good and I haven't ask evil Dr. G.oogle what he thinks about pregnancy and swollen kidneys because I'm sure he will tell me awful things. He's an ass like that.
During all that time at the hospital, baby T did great. She was kicking and her heart rate was awesome. At one point I thought she was repeatedly kicking the same spot, but the nurse came in and said that she had the hiccups. I recorded it on my phone- so cute! I just need to keep reminding myself that despite all of my pain, drama and worry, she has been a rock star! I hope the next 10 weeks pass without any drama. OMG. I will be having a baby in 10 weeks or less!!
This trip was not like the two other quick ones. They were busy and I had to wait almost an hour to be seen. I started to second guess myself and even told the check-in nurse that I wanted to go home. She said I felt bad enough to come in, so should really get checked out. They got me back into a bed and the doctor came to see me right away. He said he wanted an ultrasound of my gallbladder and then we would go from there. So I waited. For almost 5 hours. I didn't bring anything with me because I didn't think I would be there long. I also couldn't get cell service in the area they had me. I was so bored. I was alone and had a mini-breakdown around hour 4. I cried to the nurse (a new nurse because the shift had changed) that I couldn't lay there any more. I was starving and going crazy. They wouldn't let me eat until after the ultrasound. I had barely eaten all day because my gallbladder was hurting so bad. The new nurse wasn't very nice and told me I could go home if I wanted! I told her I'd been waiting 4 hours for my ultrasound and if I left now then I've waited for nothing. I thought she was rude, but maybe she thought I was crazy because I was crying hysterically. I blame hormones and hunger.
About 45 minutes after my breakdown the ultrasound tech showed up. Apparently they only have 1 on a Saturday and she had an ER case before mine. I still don't get why that took 4 hours, but what do I know? Hospital time is different, I guess. She did the ultrasound and said a radiologist would read it and the doctor would get back to me. Great....I figured the radiologist would only take a few more hours to read the damn thing. Surprisingly it was only about 20 minutes. The nurse came to release me and said my gallbladder looked fine, but I had some swelling around my kidneys. Awesome, something else for me to worry about! She said to stick to a low fat diet because of my pain and to avoid anything drinks except water (which I already do). She talked to my OB and she said we would talk more at my regular appointment this Thursday. I still don't understand why my gallbladder hurts so bad if it's not sludgy or has stones, but I will just have to deal with it.
I started to freak out about my kidneys, but my friend assured me that they wouldn't have sent me home if it was a huge concern. I went to acupuncture today and my acu doc explained that my kidneys are working for two lives right now instead of one, so it only makes sense that they are a little stressed. He said my coloring, pulse, and blood pressure were all great so I shouldn't worry. I told him I drink a gallon of water a day (I've been doing that since my amniotic fluid was low about 10 weeks ago) and he said that was probably overkill and could be too much for my kidneys. As far I as know my fluid is normal now so I can just stick to a normal amount of water. I've been really good and I haven't ask evil Dr. G.oogle what he thinks about pregnancy and swollen kidneys because I'm sure he will tell me awful things. He's an ass like that.
During all that time at the hospital, baby T did great. She was kicking and her heart rate was awesome. At one point I thought she was repeatedly kicking the same spot, but the nurse came in and said that she had the hiccups. I recorded it on my phone- so cute! I just need to keep reminding myself that despite all of my pain, drama and worry, she has been a rock star! I hope the next 10 weeks pass without any drama. OMG. I will be having a baby in 10 weeks or less!!
30 weeks!
Baby T's hiccups
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Another trip to L&D
I was hoping when I went to labor & delivery at 18 1/2 weeks that I wouldn't see that place again until baby T was ready to be born. I didn't make it :(. On Sunday DH dragged me on a road trip with him. He is into all of these roadside oddities and wanted to travel to Louisville, KY to see a collection of horse statues. I really didn't want to go, but I felt bad making him go alone and we didn't spend much time together over the weekend so I thought it would be nice to be together. We ended up being in the car for 9 hours. We got out and walked some, but not a lot. I kept feeling a cramp in my left leg, and when we did walk my feet felt swollen. I just figured it was because it was almost 80 in Louisville and muggy.
Yesterday I went to work as usual, but instead of being in my classroom I had a meeting all afternoon, so I wasn't on my feet much after 1 pm. On the way home from work I stopped to run and errand and looked down at my feet. My left ankle looked like it belonged to an elephant. It scared me and I did a double take. I examined my other ankle and it was only slightly swollen, so I decided to call the OB. Neither doctor was in, so the nurse said to go to L&D. She was concerned because it was only one ankle, and wanted me to get my blood pressure checked also.
Last time I was there the nurse I had was very friendly. This time I wasn't so lucky. She told me that "anyone who is carrying extra weight is bound to swell," and that "those doctors will send you in for a hangnail." She also said my ankle didn't look swollen. She's crazy. I wish I would've taken a picture of it. Then she went to put the monitor on my stomach for the baby. She tried each side, then she stopped and said "How far along are you again?" I said 27 weeks. She tried the sides again and then asked if I had felt her move lately. I was panicked, but I knew I had just felt her less than 30 minutes before. She finally moved the monitor down lower and there was baby T, with a strong heartbeat. Stupid nurse. Thanks for giving me a mini heart attack.
My blood pressure was great, thank goodness. The doctor came to look at my ankles and agreed that my left one was very swollen. She checked my pulses and felt around, checking for signs of a clot. Nothing. I told her about the car ride and she thinks that because I was sitting so long it caused all the fluid to build up, then when I didn't do my normal activity that afternoon it made it worse. DH was there at that point so she went over the signs of a clot with both of us and told me to watch my leg very closely. She said she wasn't too concerned but if I saw any signs I need to come back immediately, but for now I could go home. Then she said "your baby looks awesome on the monitor." Go baby T!
This morning my ankle looked fairly normal, and after working today they are both slightly swollen but I'm thinking that is going to stick around since I am almost 30 weeks (what?) and it is getting hot. I had some liver function tests done at my last OB appointment (because of my gallbladder pain) and everything is normal. I also passed the glucose test! My gallbladder is still being a b!tch, but I think it will ease up some when school is out. I can't believe how far I've come. I really hope the rest of my pregnancy is drama free.
Here is my 27 week pic. Please ignore my sloppy bed and laundry I need to put away!
Yesterday I went to work as usual, but instead of being in my classroom I had a meeting all afternoon, so I wasn't on my feet much after 1 pm. On the way home from work I stopped to run and errand and looked down at my feet. My left ankle looked like it belonged to an elephant. It scared me and I did a double take. I examined my other ankle and it was only slightly swollen, so I decided to call the OB. Neither doctor was in, so the nurse said to go to L&D. She was concerned because it was only one ankle, and wanted me to get my blood pressure checked also.
Last time I was there the nurse I had was very friendly. This time I wasn't so lucky. She told me that "anyone who is carrying extra weight is bound to swell," and that "those doctors will send you in for a hangnail." She also said my ankle didn't look swollen. She's crazy. I wish I would've taken a picture of it. Then she went to put the monitor on my stomach for the baby. She tried each side, then she stopped and said "How far along are you again?" I said 27 weeks. She tried the sides again and then asked if I had felt her move lately. I was panicked, but I knew I had just felt her less than 30 minutes before. She finally moved the monitor down lower and there was baby T, with a strong heartbeat. Stupid nurse. Thanks for giving me a mini heart attack.
My blood pressure was great, thank goodness. The doctor came to look at my ankles and agreed that my left one was very swollen. She checked my pulses and felt around, checking for signs of a clot. Nothing. I told her about the car ride and she thinks that because I was sitting so long it caused all the fluid to build up, then when I didn't do my normal activity that afternoon it made it worse. DH was there at that point so she went over the signs of a clot with both of us and told me to watch my leg very closely. She said she wasn't too concerned but if I saw any signs I need to come back immediately, but for now I could go home. Then she said "your baby looks awesome on the monitor." Go baby T!
Here is my 27 week pic. Please ignore my sloppy bed and laundry I need to put away!
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