Crap. This already sucks.

We are now active with all 3 agencies and 1 attorney! When I first got our home study packet back in July, I cried because I was so overwhelmed with all the hoops and paperwork and requirements. I never thought we would get to this point. Here we are. But...

Waiting sucks. Big time.

This is the hardest part so far, and it's only been a week. I guess with all the home study requirements and applications I felt more useful because we were actually doing something. Now we're doing nothing....but waiting.

Since becoming active, we've received info on two birthmothers. Once we see the info, we let the agency know if we are interested in having our profile shown and then the birthmother will choose from there. The first situation we had to turn down because it was over our budget, and the second we had to say no because it involved extended travel. I know it's only a couple of weeks and I should be glad that we are already getting birthmother info. I just can't help being discouraged and wondering if we will ever get our baby. In December it will be two years since my BFP. Two years later and still no family. I never imagined we'd be waiting this long or that having a family would be so hard. I really don't want to go through another holiday season childless. Last weekend I took my dog to a costume contest and pet parade. It was a lot of fun, but I can't help being sad when I see all the kids dressed up in their costumes. When will it be my turn to buy kid's costumes? My poor dog now has six Halloween costumes.......
Recently on SNL it was said said that dressing up your dog is a way to tell your neighbors you can't have kids. Screw you Seth. You have no idea what IF is like and you can kiss my ass. Besides, my dog is damn cute dressed up, isn't she? Here she is struttin' her stuff in the parade. Notice the pom-poms- my husband sewed them!

Sorry girl, we will never stop dressing you up, even if we do eventually get our baby. You're too cute!

Almost there

We are now active with 2 of our 3 agencies!!! Finally! I didn't think we'd get to this point, ever. There were some frustrations during the last week though.

One agency emailed and said they did not have a letter from one of our references. I knew that this person sent her reference because I bugged her (in a friendly way, of course!) about sending it and she ended up texting me a picture of her stamped envelope the day she mailed it so I would leave her alone. So I knew either the post office or the agency made a mistake. Luckily, the agency allowed her to fax another copy, so that didn't hold us up long.

The same day my friend faxed her copy of the "lost" letter, I called one of the other agencies because I hadn't heard from them after I sent the copies of our background checks. The woman I spoke with said she hadn't received the background checks yet. Inside I immediately freaked, but I told her (in my friendliest voice) that I had delivery confirmation from the post office that the paperwork had arrived a week ago. She hung up to look for it, then called back about 5 minutes later to apologize and let me know she had located it. Phew! I was really about to blow up after that one, because I knew it had been delivered.

I don't mean to criticize either agency. I know they receive a lot of paperwork and are very busy. I know I'm not their #1 priority. I was just getting so frustrated because it seemed like every time I thought we were finished they would ask for something else. The 3rd agency called today for a phone interview. We are approved, but still have to go through an official approval by an agency committee. We should be active by the end of the week.

The hardest part in the next several months will be waiting. I'm trying to focus on searching/applying for grants, and finding a fundraiser for us. DH still isn't sold on the fundraising idea. I'm searching for something we can do or sell online. DH's fear is that people will feel obligated. I don't want anyone to feel obligated, and I also hope the idea of a fundraiser doesn't offend anyone. My friend S, who brought her son home in July through adoption, sold T-shirts from Adoption Bug. I've checked those out and most of them are scripture shirts. S and her husband are both pastors so that was perfect for them, but I'm not sure it really "fits" our family and friends. I don't know. I go back and forth on the whole fundraising idea. If you have any ideas, feel free to comment and let me know.

::looks up at ticker:: It took almost 5 months to get to the active point. And I haven't put anything off, I've been working through things as fast as I can. There is nothing quick or easy about adoption. So if you EVER hear anyone say to "just adopt" please respond appropriately with anger...

The Waiting Game

::taps fingers impatiently:: I am a very patient person, considering I'm  second grade teacher. I guess my patience is only applicable to certain situations, because waiting for these agencies is driving me crazy! I sent all the applications out on September 20. I thought my first emotion would be excitement, but honestly as soon as I put the boxes in the mail receptacle I was filled with fear. I'm not afraid of taking care of a baby. I can't wait for DH and I to be parents. I'm just afraid of everything that may come up during the adoption process. The birth mother may change her mind, we may be matched in a situation that ends up being over our budget, we have to wait 6 months to finalize once we get back to Ohio, etc., etc., etc. So many hurdles along the way.

Just like I thought the home study process would never end, I really feel like the matching process will never begin. I mailed everything September 20. The agencies received them September 23 (not that I checked the USPS website like a crazy person or anything), and on September 26 I was contacted by all 3 agencies. They all need official copies of our background checks and child abuse clearances. Stupid me, I thought that was included in the home study. It is referenced in the home study that we are clear and those were completed, but I had to call our home study agency to get the actual documents. More waiting. So I received the documents October 1, then mailed them to the agencies Oct 2. They received them Oct 5. Again, not that I checked the USPS website like a crazy person. So now I'm just waiting for the agencies to contact me again to say we are active. All 3 said everything was in order except these missing documents. Umm, it's Oct 7. Don't these people know how hard it is to wait?? (honestly I know they are busy and I'm not number one on their list, but wouldn't it be nice if I were?)

We did have a conference call with the attorney in Florida we are signed up with. He doesn't do that many adoptions each year, so theoretically our wait time with him will be much longer. However, if we match with him it will end up costing less than $15k. Also, traveling to Florida sounds so much better than traveling to Utah. So I sent him our profile on Oct 4, delivery confirmed Oct 6. We should be active with him by next week.

So here we go. The waiting game is just beginning, because once we are active we have to wait for a match. Once we are matched we have to wait for a birth. After the birth we have to wait for the birth mother to sign. After that we have to wait 6 months to finalize.

Did I mention we wanted a baby like, years ago?????