My baby is growing too fast!

Age: 5 Months

Weight: about 14 and a half pounds. I haven't weighed her in a few weeks.

Length: 24 inches at her 4 month appointment

Size: in 6 month and 6-9 month clothes. Soon she will be in Carter's 9 month, but that is basically 6-9 in Carter's language.

Hair: Her hair is all filled in, but she's starting to get a bald spot on the back from where she rubs her head while laying down. She also has these two long pieces around her ears. They look like wings and they are adorable.

Eyes: brow, but not dark brown like mine. They have a hint of green.
Teeth: None.Still drooling like crazy and she puts EVERYTHING in her mouth.

Sleeping:We've had a bit of trouble in this department. After trying to move her to her crib at 4 months left us both exhausted, I put her back in the RnP (rock n play) and she slept great for a couple weeks. Then she started waking every 3 hours. Nothing would calm her except nursing. I thought maybe it was a growth spurt, but those usually last a week or so and this is still going on. I'm on Christmas break right now, so we are doing the crib transition again. It's going much better this time. I think I am more committed to it, and she was sleeping like crap in the RnP anyway so I can't move her back into it. Plus she is just getting to big for it. She is still waking every 3-4 hours in the crib, but most of the time I can calm her down with just patting her and giving her the paci. I've also been letting her fuss for 5-10 minutes before I go to her, and sometimes she will just go back to sleep. Don't judge me- I used to think letting them cry was cruel but I wasn't doing her any favors by running to her at her first cry! We moved her bedtime up also so she is getting 12 hours of sleep (with wake ups) but she wakes up happy and smiley rather than cranky like she did during the first crib transition. I still nurse her once or twice at night, depending on how long it's been since she last ate. She will sleep through the night eventually. I'm not really worried about it because she is a happy, well adjusted, growing baby.

Eating: still 100% breast milk. For awhile I was getting away with pumping once a day (lucky, I know!) but I had to add another session after school. Next month we are going to start vegetables. I'm so excited to watch her try new foods. I'm hoping to read the book Baby Led Weaning and just skip purees. I'm not excited about solid poops in diapers. I haven't had to rinse her cloth diapers because she is exclusively breastfed, but once she starts solids I will have to. Yuck. I'm planning to do a whole post about cloth diapers soon. We LOVE them!

Movement: She is so strong! She still does her "stomach crunches" often. In fact, she was doing them in the RnP which was a sign that she was getting too big for it! She enjoys her exersaucer but we have to prop her with a towel. She loves her S.ummer Infant seat (similar to a B.umbo) and will sit in it for quite awhile. I'll post a pic of that below. My mom has a jumper (that hangs from a door frame) and she can't jump in it yet, but she enjoyed spinning and playing in it for awhile on Christmas. She doesn't hate tummy time anymore, I think because she has great head control and can easily lift her head and shoulders. She rolls from tummy to back like a champ. We've been practicing back to belly (I will roll her on a blanket, which is fun!). She follows people a lot with her eyes, and definitely knows who mommy and daddy are. When DH talks she will just stare at him and smile. One day I went to nurse her at lunch and she kept fighting to get out from under the nursing cover. She just wanted to sit and watch the boys at the sitter and grin at them. She also smiles and Shorty as she walks around. She is definitely very aware of her surroundings.

Milestones: She got her first cold, but it never fazed her. She just smiled through the snot and coughing. She sounded pitiful, but it never affected her demeanor. She celebrated her first Christmas! She got lots of cool new toys and enjoyed all the excitement. She is sleeping in her crib like a big girl. Oh, and she had her first fall. I set her on the couch for a minute while I went to start the washer, and DH was right there- but she rolled off. She cried for about a minute and then was back to grinning. Oops. Write that down in her baby book ;). She was also baptized in December. She found her feet this month too! When I'm changing her she will grab at her feet until she gets one in her mouth. It's so cute to watch. She grabs everything. We were at Cracker Barrel last week and she grabbed some green beans off my plate!

Favorite Toys/Activities: She loves listening to daddy and just watching people. She enjoys her seat and sometimes her exersaucer. Her changing table is still one of her happy places, and she still loves baths. She is also big enough for the E.rgo and she tolerates me wearing her for awhile. She likes her Sophie toy that she got from her friend Sam, a doll that has wooden rings on the hands the my friend Shauna gave her. Really she likes anything she can put in her mouth!

Dislikes: Waking up at night and being tired. Sometimes she dislikes the car (mostly when it's dark), but as long as she's not in her seat too long she's okay. Overall she's a happy baby and we are very lucky.

Words & Sounds: She babbles a lot. They've started to sound like squeals and sometimes like a cat! She laughs easily now and is very ticklish around her neck and armpits. She also loves making spitting noises and blowing bubbles.

Daddy making her laugh

Sitting with Papaw on Christmas day

Calling her boyfriend(s)

Loving her seat

Santa did not clear this present with Mommy first

Our Christmas card picture

Can I have some privacy while I eat my feet, please?

One Year Ago

I meant to post this on Monday, which was the anniversary of the day we found out about Sadie. Revisit it here. I never dreamed we would be so blessed!

November 26, 2011

4 months old

Here we are again. I can't believe my baby is getting so big!

Age: 4 months

Weight: 13 pounds 12 ounces

Length: 24 inches

Size: in 6 month and 6-9 month clothes. There are a few 3-6 things that fit her, but not many.

Hair: It's definitely filling in up top, and she no longer has male patterned baldness. It's so long on the sides that it goes over her ears. It's still dark and just adorable.

Teeth: None. The pedi felt her mouth at her 4 month appointment Monday and said he didn't feel anything. She is still drooling like crazy and putting everything in her mouth!

Sleeping: Ugh. I was off all week for Thanksgiving break so I thought it would be a good time to transition her to her crib. The first night she only woke up twice! Well, she fooled me. The past 3 nights she has been up multiple times, and last night it was every 15 minutes until she finally gave me a 3 hour stretch at midnight. I really wish I had transitioned her sooner. I love the rock-n-play, but I think it made her so used to sleeping all snuggled and at an incline that she's having trouble getting used to being flat on her back in such a big space. She can also roll onto her side, so I think all the rolling wakes her up. It's been 4 nights now, so I'm hoping after another few it will get better. She was down to 1 wake up or sleeping all night in the rock-n-play so I'm hoping we will get back to that. She also takes very short naps now unless she's on my lap. She takes great naps at the sitter, go figure. My doctor said sometimes babies will just stay awake to be with mommy. All of those short naps make her have little tired "fits" though and it takes a bit to calm her down.

Eating: still 100% breast milk. The pedi said we can skip cereal and go straight to vegetables at 6 months. My supply has gone down just a bit and I've had to add in an extra pumping session here and there, but otherwise I am keeping up with her eating. Most days I can nurse her during lunch which really helps.

Movement: She has great head and body control. The pedi commented on how well she was doing developmentally, and my doctor said she has great muscle tone. She can roll onto her side from her back and still rolls from belly to back during tummy time. She does her "stomach crunches" often, meaning she lifts her head off the ground from a laying position. She does it often in her carseat, because it's not her favorite place and she's trying to find a way out. We've tried putting her in her exersaucer but she doesn't quite have the strength to hold her whole body up yet.

Milestones: Taking her 4 month shots like a champ, moving to her crib, rolling from back to side, celebrating her first Thanksgiving, laughing. I was changing her and I tickled her armpit and she giggled. She is also ticklish under her neck. My mom can make her laugh during peek-a-boo. It's the best sound in the world. She also joined the paint club (an inside joke in my family).

Favorite Toys/Activities: She still LOVES nursing. This week when I was off I felt like we constantly nursed. Most of the time I didn't mind though- it gave me a chance to cuddle and catch up on some tv! She loves her taggies blanket, or any little blankie/burp cloth. She also has a blanket with a monkey head attached. She loves to talk to it and hold it in her carseat. She also loves baths. If she is really upset I know I can give her a bath to calm her down.

Dislikes: Apparently she dislikes long naps now, but she also dislikes being tired. Makes sense....;). She also hates being in her carseat for long periods of time and wants to sit at the table with us if we go out to eat.

Words & Sounds: She will "talk" for long periods of time now and will laugh. She still does her fake cry that sounds kind of like a siren. I love hearing it all!

Holding her "baby" in the car

Leg lifts

Love those chubby thighs!

3 Month Pics

I told DH not to argue with me- we are having pics taken at the 1,3,6,9, and 12 month marks. He thought it was excessive at first, until he got to pick out one of her outfits for the most recent ones. I'll let you guess which one he picked. We didn't print all of these poses, but some were too cute not to share.

For some reason this one make her look so much chubbier than she is, but it's still cute!

I have Timberland boots like Daddy

I don't like this tummy time stuff

3 Months Old

Well, time continues to fly. I wish I could put things in slow motion. I'm enjoying every single second with my precious girl, but not I really know what people mean when they say "they grow up so fast." It feels like Sadie was just born. 

Age: 3 months

Weight: about 12 and a half pounds

Length: 23 inches at her 2 month appointment

Size: 3 months and some 3-6 clothing. She is still wearing a few 0-3 things but they are getting snug. We are also using cloth diapers now! It was a bit of a production trying to figure out my wash routine and she ended up being allergic to the fabric on one kind of diapers so I had to rethink my stash, but we have it figured out now and things are going well. I'm so glad I didn't give up (I wanted to several times.)

Hair: Dark and getting pretty long around her ears. DH said we should cut it and "even it out." He is CRAZY. She's adorable even with a little top baldness and no one is going near my baby with scissors yet. Her eyes seem like they are turning hazel. DH has hazel eyes, mine are brown.

Teeth: None, just loads of drool. We go through 2-3 bibs a day.

Sleeping: She usually wakes up once per night. She goes to bed with us, around 9:30, and she will wake up any time between 2-4 am for a short feeding. Most of the time I have to wake her at 7 to get her ready for the sitter. She's been taking long naps there, and will still catnap in the evenings. I can usually lay her down semi awake at night and she will go to sleep on her own. She is still in the rock-in-play by our bed. I will probably transition to her crib over my Christmas break. I really don't want her to leave my side though. I love being able to reach over to her during the night if needed.

Eating: still 100% breast milk. I feel very lucky that breast feeding has gone so well for us. Since returning to work I've been able to pump plenty of milk for her during the day. She really doesn't eat much when she's away from me and seems to wait and nurse more in the evenings. Her middle of the night feedings are only about 10-15 minutes now. We've come a long way from the hours and hours she would nurse at night during those first few weeks. I have to admit it makes me a little sad. I love the extra sleep, but it's just another sign that she's growing too fast. Such a bittersweet feeling.

Movement: She looks less like a bobble head and can hold her head up very well. She has started to grab onto things. If I cover her up while she's in her carseat she has learned how to grab the blanket. She sucks on it sometimes. She also seemed to have figured out that her hand is attached to her body. I catch her just lifting her fist and staring at it, almost making herself go cross eyed. It's so fun to watch. She sucks on her hand a lot now too. That usually wakes me up before her whimpers in the middle of the night. I hear a loud "suck suck suck" and she almost has her whole hand in her mouth, so I know she is ready to eat.

Milestones: Oh, the baby babbles. They are so stinking cute. I love hearing her "talk." She almost laughs, but we have yet to hear it. I can't wait for that! She responds to raspberries on her tummy and we are able to make her smile easily now. She has also been going to her sitter for two weeks now and has been doing great. They love her and I'm so glad. My sitter's 3 year old son said to me, "I wish your baby was our baby." She's gone to storytime at the library twice now with them and the boys read to her all the time during the day. I am so incredibly fortunate to take her there.

Favorite Toys/Activities: She still loves the ceiling fans. She is starting to respond more to toys, especially ones with faces, but she really doesn't love any toys yet. I think her favorite thing is just sitting and looking around. She will sit happily on my lap and I usually hold her while we eat dinner. She just likes to take in her surroundings.

Dislikes: She is still not a fan of tummy time, and she fights her naps if she gets overtired. Honestly we are lucky she is such a happy girl. There isn't much that she truly dislikes.

Words & Sounds: The baby babbles mentioned above. I love them so much. She still does her fake cry which cracks us up.

Hey woman, stop taking my picture!

Tomorrow we are having some 3 month professional pictures taken. I will share some soon!

The Exciting Life of a Baby

I've been so busy lately there hasn't been much time to blog. Lots has happened in our lives in the last month though! I went back to work last week. It was difficult, but we managed. Sadie was an angel at the sitter and made everyone fall in love with her. I'm so lucky to have my sitter- she's wonderful and I feel completely comfortable with her taking care of my daughter. She is the wife of a coworker. She is also a nurse, but stays home now with their 4 kids. They are all boys- 6, 5, 3, and 1. You might think she has her hands full with all of those boys plus Sadie, but she is amazing. She handles 5 kids better than I handle one. Every Wednesday she takes the kids to story time at the library (she brings her mom along for help) and this past week they held it at a local pumpkin patch.

Here is Sadie enjoying all the pumpkins. Or sleeping.

Even though Sadie is just a few months old, the thought of her going to weekly story time excites me. You're never too young to start reading! This week they have trick or treat at the library so I am sending Sadie's costume. We weren't going to do a costume besides her Thing 2 outfit (more on that in a minute) but I found an elephant costume at a garage sale for 50 cents! Score!

The best part about my sitter is that she is less than 5 minutes from the school. I ran over each day (except Wednesday) and nursed her at lunch. I thought I would be so rushed, and I am, but once I get there it's nice to sit down and relax for 15 minutes or so with my girl. Plus it gives me a break from the pump. Next week I have recess duty so I'm not sure when I will eat lunch, but I will figure it out. It's a small sacrifice to make for my little girl who will grow up so fast. Pumping has been going well too. Since I've been nursing at lunch, Sadie has taken less than 8 ounces from a bottle each day. I pump once each day during my plan and still had almost 18 ounces left over to freeze on Friday! I'm so glad I can keep up with what she eats. I think it makes a big difference that my sitter nursed all her boys (and still nurses her youngest) because she will hold her off if I'm coming soon because she knows that I will have to pump if I don't nurse. Again, I am so blessed to have her.

Sadie also became a traveling girl. We took a mini vacation to Boston to visit some dear friends and see the sights. She was an angel. She slept almost the whole 20 hour drive (with nursing/changing stops) and slept in the stroller during most of our sight seeing. We got very good at nursing (discreetly) in public. One my favorite places was on the 50th floor of Prudential Tower. There were no chairs, so we just plopped down on the floor with my nursing cover. She also ate on a park bench and in several restaurants. The best part of vacation was spending time with one of my best friends that I have known since elementary school. Her son is about 5 months older than Sadie.

Sam and Sadie sittin in a tree....

Getting off the T at Harvard. You can tell Sadie is really enjoying herself. Or sleeping.

Yesterday we had a very exciting day. A couple of years ago Shorty and I entered a pet costume contest at a local outdoor mall, and it's become a yearly tradition. The first year she was a banana and I was a gorilla. Last year she was a Dayton Dragons cheerleader. This contest is serious. People go ALL OUT. So I knew we had to be extra awesome to win a prize. My wonderful sister-in-law got Shorty and Sadie Thing 1 and Thing 2 shirts as a shower gift last May. My talented grandma took an adult wig and separated it to make a wig for Shorty and Sadie. I dressed up as the Cat in the Hat.

We got second place in the pet/owner duo category! It was so much fun! I remember last year telling my grandma, "I hope I have a baby to bring next year." Of course, I thought I would have a baby through the gift of adoption. Little did I know we would be so blessed with Sadie. I am the luckiest mom in the world. I'll leave you with some more costume pictures and I'll be back in a few day to post her 3 month update (sob! My baby is growing too fast!).

My stepsister, Apryl. She lives in KY and met Sadie for the first time yesterday.

Shorty is thinking "Why do you people do this to me?"

Sadie says "Yeah, I know I rock the blue hair. I'm awesome."

2 months old

Where has the time gone? I can't believe Sadie is 2 months old already. 

 

Age: 2 months

Weight: 11 pounds 4 ounces

Length: 23 inches

Size: Completely out of newborn clothes :( and in 0-3, mostly 3 months. She also fits into our cloth diapers now. We haven't completely made the switch but hope to soon.

Hair: Still dark, getting very long on the sides and filling in a little at the top. She still has "male pattern baldness," but it is adorable.

Teeth: Not yet, but she has been drooling a lot lately!

Sleeping: She is still a good sleeper. She will go anywhere between 4-6 hours at night. One night she gave me 6 1/2 hours! She usually has one long nap during the day and several cat naps.

Eating: Exclusively breast milk. Now that I made it past the first six weeks, I am determined that she be exclusively breastfed until she is a year old.

Movement: She has great head control. She looks like a bobblehead, but can hold it up herself fairly well. She can sit in the little seat I have for her (similar to a Bumbo) for a few minutes. She can also roll from belly to back! She hates tummy time so she had to figure out how to get out of that :). The first time I thought it was an accident but now she consistently rolls. It's not easy for her though. Sometimes it takes a good 5 minutes of work! She is also grabbing at things some. She has gotten my hair a few times.

Milestones: Smiling! She smiles like crazy when I talk to her. It's so adorable. Rolling, 2 month appointment with her first set of vaccines, going shopping several times with mom and nana.

Favorite Toys/Activities: Nursing, looking at ceiling fans and lights.

Dislikes: Tummy time, waiting to eat, trying to fall asleep. She will fight and fight going to sleep sometimes.

Words & Sounds: She does her fake cry, which is starting to sound more like a shout, and she does some babbling. She tries to imitate me when I coo at her (if only she would imitate me when I pretend to sleep!)

Reflections on PAIL

PAIL= Parenting After Loss or Infertility.

After reading this post from a fellow PAIL blogger, this has been brewing in my head for awhile, I just haven't had much time to write. Katie and her husband just adopted a baby after years of fertility treatments, and she writes about parenthood on her blog From If to When.  Suddenly you are on the other side, while those who were on the journey with you are still waiting for their happy ending. It's difficult not to feel a sense of guilt for overcoming infertility and loss. I felt it during my pregnancy and often wondered why God chose to bless me while so many others still suffer and remain childless. Katie also writes about how being a parent- whether PAIL or not- is hard. Really hard. After wanting a child so bad, you think you have to be a perfect parent, which is just not possible.

Taking care of a baby is all consuming. There are days when I am overwhelmed and all I want is a moment to myself. There have been a few days where Sadie is fussy and I feel like I can't do anything right. But I will say that PAIL has made me a better mom. Even when I'm in the thick of it- those moments when I feel like a total failure- I look at my daughter and I am overwhelmed with emotion. I am so grateful for her, especially on the tough days. Because I get to have tough days. I get to experience the exhaustion and difficulty of being a parent. Even when I'm nursing at 3 am, I can stare at Sadie and realize how lucky I am to be awake in the middle of the night with my baby. My 1% baby that my RE said I probably wouldn't have. I would never wish the pain of infertility or loss on anyone, but for me, I am grateful for it. Every day I get to look at a miracle. Not everyone can say that.

Professional Photos

We had some one month pictures taken of Sadie. Here are some of my faves.

1 Month Old

 I stole this template from my friend S so I can do monthly updates. Hope you don't mind, S. How is my baby getting so big?!

Age: 1 month

Weight: About 8 lbs 8 oz (using a non digital baby scale I have at home)

Length: 20 3/4 inches at 2 week appointment.

Size: She is almost completely out of NB sized clothes and diapers :(. Some of the 0-3 months are still a little big though.

Hair: Still dark, getting very long on the sides and filling in a little at the top. It drives DH crazy that she is "bald" on top.

Teeth: Not yet!

Sleeping: She is a good sleeper so far. She will do between 3-5 hours at night and takes 2-3 hour naps during the day.

Eating: Exclusively breast milk. She is doing wonderful and I feel so fortunate to have such a great nurser. The only issue we have is my fast letdown makes her gulp so we have to burp often. She has taken several pumped bottles from other people (she won't be fooled into taking one from me!).

Movement: Her neck is getting so strong! We don't have to support her head as much. She follows us with her eyes, and pushes off my chest with her legs when she is mad.

Milestones: Learning to like the swing and walks in the stroller. She is also reacting more to sounds and her burps and farts have startled her a couple times.

Favorite Toys/Activities: Eating, eating, eating. Also eating. Oh and sleeping.

Dislikes: Getting her clothes changed, waiting to eat, and getting dressed after a bath. She doesn't seem to mind the actual bath, it's when she is wet and I'm trying to dry her off and dress her that she really gets mad. She also hates when we first strap her in her carseat. Sorry girl, it needs to be snug!

Words & Sounds: She does a lot of grunting in her sleep. I've learned to distinguish between her fake cry and real cry. Her fake cries sound a little like a duck...lol.

Birth Story

I'm very late in getting my birth story here, but I want to write it all out so I don't forget anything. Sadie and I are doing well. I can't believe she is a month old already!

The days leading up to Sadie's birth were filled with emotion. The end of my pregnancy was such a bittersweet time. I was so excited to meet her, but yet I was mourning the loss of my belly. I never thought I would be pregnant. I am so thankful and grateful I got to experience having her grow inside me. I went to the pool on the Saturday before her birth, and I cried when I left because it may be the last time I ever wore my maternity swim suit, and also because I knew it would be a long time before I would go to the pool alone again. My grandma came and picked up Shorty up the next day. I cried again. I felt guilty because I knew my little furry baby's life was going to change forever. That dog got me through one of the darkest times of my life and will always be my first "baby." I was also thinking about how it has been me and DH for 9 years. That was all about to change.

My c-section was scheduled for 12 pm on Monday, July 23. We had to be at the hospital at 10 am. I was extremely uncomfortable because I had a raging yeast infection so that kept my nerves at bay. We arrived at the hospital about 5 minutes late. My MIL and SIL were already there, and the nurse that checked me in was a parent of a former student. Small world. We had to answer many questions and sign lots of paperwork before they took me back. I changed into my gown, got my IV, and they put the monitor on. They took my fingerprints. It was so surreal to put my fingerprint where it said "mother." DH sat with me while doctors came in and out and asked me tons of questions. The senior anesthesiologist turned out to be an old Cub Scout buddy of DH's. He explained that a first year resident would be doing my spinal. Awesome. Lots of family came in and out while we waited to go to the OR. My mom, stepdad, brother, grandma, cousin, MIL, SIL, and two close friends from school were all there. My FIL, nephew, brother, and SIL came later.

Finally the nurse came to put my catheter in and take me back. My yeast infection had me all swollen and the nurse had a rough time getting it in. It was extremely painful- so much so that once I got to the OR I didn't care about the spinal because I knew I wouldn't feel the catheter anymore! One of the nurses held my body forward as the two anesthesiologists talked the resident through my spinal. It went well and they started checking me for numbness. At that point DH came in with his spacesuit (lol). He held my hand as they began the procedure. It was so strange laying there and not being able to see what was going on, but feeling the pressure of them touching me. The attending anesthesiologist started talking me through everything. She told me when they broke my water and then she said "there's her head!" As soon as she said that I heard Sadie cry and felt immense pressure. I looked at DH and said "she's crying" and immediately burst into tears. The next several minutes were a blur as they pulled Sadie out, weighed her, and cleaned her. DH cut the rest of her cord and they brought her to me. I don't remember much of that.

They took Sadie to the nursery, and DH went with her while they stitched me up. Turns out I had a huge fibroid at the top of my uterus. My OB couldn't get my uterus out to stitch it up, which she said has never happened to her. Awesome. So she had to stitch me up by feel. She said if I have another c/s (if I'm lucky enough!) she definitely wants the other OB to be there to help her stitch me. Hopefully she was about to put everything back in its place. During all of this I had really bad shoulder pain so they gave me morphine, which made me even more out of it.

I don't remember being wheeled into recovery, but the next thing I knew DH was there with Sadie and two nurses were helping me breastfeed. She did well. Then DH said he hadn't told anyone her name so ALL the visitors came into my room and we told them that her name was Sadie. I remember her being passed around and then eating lots of Jello and pudding because I was starving! I also remember thinking my legs were attached to someone else's body because the nurse would move them and I couldn't feel a thing. It was so weird.

The next few days were painful for me- I was so sore from the c/s and also had nipple pain from breastfeeding. Despite all that, I really enjoyed being in the hospital with DH and with Sadie. I cried when we got home because many of the "firsts" were already over, but I know there are many more to come. I am so lucky to be a mom. I still can't believe it.

 I'll leave you with some pictures taken after her birth, and also her one month pics.

Leaving for the hospital

I don't know why this keeps posting sideways!

Just pulled out!

Lost in Newborn Land

Sorry it's been so long since I updated. These last 2 weeks have been a crazy, sleep deprived, blissful fog. My days pass and I look back and wonder what I did. Basically I feed Sadie, change Sadie, put her down to sleep, and then we start all over again. My friend S described it perfectly. "The days are short but the minutes are long." Motherhood is hard. Way harder than I ever imagined, but soooo worth it.

Breastfeeding is also very difficult. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. I wanted to quit so many times during the first week. I stuck it out during the second week, and now things are getting easier. Sadie is still eating every 3-4 hours so she's basically attached to my breast 24/7, but she is thriving and has gained 13 ounces since we left the hospital. She lost 10 ounces after birth so we are so pleased with her progress. After being so angry with my body during our journey through miscarriage and infertility, it feels amazing to know that things are actually working right and I'm able to feed my little girl.

The most difficult thing about breastfeeding is that it's all YOU. I can't be away from her for more than 2 hours because if she gets hungry, no one else can feed her. It's overwhelming, but it's also amazing and I really enjoy the closeness I feel when I nurse her. I'm working with a lactation consultant who is going to help me start pumping so DH can give her bottles occasionally. When I go back to work in October, I will hopefully pump enough for Sadie to get through the day, then nurse her at night. I've been using a great product called Milk Savers (check it out on Amazon) and I've already froze 8 ounces of breast milk just from leaking on the opposite side.

That's it for now- I have to take a shower while I have the chance. I'll leave you with some pictures of our sweet girl.

Happy Family

I'm hungry!

Sweet sleeper

Always still room for the furry baby

A dream come true

Help! There is a baby in my house and I don't know how she got here! This is still so surreal.

I will post more of my birth story and how the past few days have gone later, but for now I just want to share that Sadie Dawn arrived at 12:51 p.m. on Monday, July 23. She weighed exactly 7 lbs and is 20 3/4" long. We are beyond blessed to have her. Here are a few pictures for now, and I will write more in the next few days as we settle into a routine at home.

It's time!

I am in disbelief. I can't believe I will be having a baby tomorrow. I am on an emotional roller coaster. One minute I can't wait to get her out, the next minute I sad because I may never be pregnant again. I'm trying to enjoy this last day with her inside me- feeling those little kicks and rolls. I am sure of one thing I feel- GRATEFUL. I am so blessed to have experienced the miracle of pregnancy. The gallbladder pain, c.diff, colds, swelling, all the issues I've had- I would take them all 100 times over. I am so lucky. Tomorrow my dream will come true. I will get to hug and kiss my little girl. I will get to see what DH and I created together. I am so thankful for this wonderful journey and gift.

The past week has been a little rough. My legs and ankles have been swelling a lot. If I don't keep my left leg elevated, it starts to feel like a giant stump and is hard to move. I joked and told my mom she should call me Stumpy. Now I know what people meant when they said to me, "Oh, you're due in July?" I've packed on the pounds this last month, but I have a feeling 10 pounds of it is water and fluid. I also have a raging yeast infection- my second one this pregnancy. I will have to use my final dose of Mon.istat tomorrow night at the hospital. That should be fun. But as I said above, I would do it all over again. Baby girl T, you are 100%- no 200%- worth all of this. I can't wait to meet you!

My last belly pic!

Full Term and Finished Nursery

How did this happen? Somehow I made it! Baby T, you're almost done cooking. I can't believe we will get to meet you in a couple weeks. I go between being so excited that she's almost here, to crying because I may never be pregnant again and get to experience feeling something grow inside me. I've been very emotional this week. I cried yesterday at the pool when I saw a little girl crying. Her mom was holding her and she was fine, but hearing the sound just made me tear up. Soon we will hear that sound. I still have a lot of freak out moments, especially now that the nursery is finished. I keep thinking, "What if we don't really get to bring her home?" I pray multiple times a day that this ends well. It's the only thing I can do. I also read the worrying passing I shared a few posts ago over and over again. Here are some nursery pics and my 37 week belly pic. We spelled out her name above her crib, but since that is a surprise I took it down for the pics. I took the pics on my phone so they are not the best quality.

My grandma made the curtains and valances for us.

Grandma also made the crib skirt and diaper stacker.

That is my brother's changing table from 22 years ago.

Our storage unit from I.kea

The dress I wore home from the hospital 31 years ago.

The luckiest girl alive at 37 weeks. Ignore my wet hair and no makeup!