Still here

I've been a bad blogger- I've done nothing but lay around for almost two weeks- you think I could have written a blog post! I don't have a whole lot to say. I went back in to see my RE for some more spotting on December 21. Everything was still fine. Apparently this baby just wants to scare me. I also had a regular appointment on December 27, and baby T was measuring almost a week ahead, so I'm a little over 9 weeks right now. I'm already past the point where I lost my last pregnancy. The stupid SCH is still there, which makes me worry, but I haven't had any spotting in over a week. My anxiety has gotten a little better. I saw my counselor last week and she gave me some tips to help calm myself when I get in panic mode. It's very difficult. If I let my mind go I will imagine every scenario or bad thing that could possibly happen. The bottom line is that I HAVE NO CONTROL. My therapist said to tell myself repeatedly: "I can't control how this ends, but I can control the way I feel right now." She also told me to come up with a calming image. Here is my image:

Yes, my calming image is my dog. I took her to Moochie & Co for a charity photo shoot. I love how it turned out. I just need to picture that cute little face and imagine little puppy snuggles and it does calm me. One day, one hour, one minute at a time. Whatever it takes. Please, please stay and grow and come meet us next summer, baby T. We already love you so much!