It's never gonna happen

Since I've been posting a lot this week, I thought I would post how I feel today. It's never gonna happen. Yes, I realize gonna isn't a real word. I just feel like I'm never gonna be pregnant. It's just not going to happen. And I hope you're NOT thinking, "Have you thought about adoption?" because everyone, I mean everyone deserves the chance to have biological children. Yes, I've thought about adoption. I've thought about paying over $10,000 for a child whose mother could possibly come back and take him/her. I want to try to have my own biological children before I consider adoption. Yes, there are plenty of children in the world who need good homes, but it's not like I can go to a shelter and pick one out. I would have to go through paperwork and home studies. I must fill out paperwork to tell a social worker what I will do if my child misbehaves. Yes, because every parent has to plan ahead to write that out. Yeah, I'm sure the crack whore on the street thought about her discipline style and wrote it out before she got pregnant. I'm sure she had her house inspected by a social worker too. It's not fair. I'm not saying I won't consider adoption; my cousin Michael is adopted and I adore him. I'm just saying-- don't suggest that to someone with IF. Especially if they're feeling how I feel today. IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. I'M A REPRODUCTIVE FAILURE.