Why me?

I love being part of this blogging community. Reading other stories of infertility and loss has helped me cope with my own issues, and I love seeing people become parents after beating the odds. But it's also exposed me to stories of miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss that I may have otherwise been oblivious to. I was reading about a blogger who lost her sweet baby boy at 22 weeks the other day, and it got me thinking. Why me? Why am I so lucky to have beaten the odds and become pregnant after the RE told me it probably wouldn't happen? How did I get the privilege of feeling this sweet little girl move inside me? Why have I been given this wonderful, priceless gift while others still suffer and may never become parents? Of course, I realize I'm only a little over halfway there. Things can still go wrong. I still may not get to bring this precious little girl home (something I think about EVERY day), but today I am pregnant. Today, I have beaten the odds. I was fully committed to our adoption journey and truly thought it was the right path for us, but I would have missed this experience. I wouldn't have known what I was missing, but now that I've felt kicks and flutters and twirls I am so, so, so grateful. It just makes me feel sad for those who still haven't had the chance to cross over. Everyone deserves this chance.

Those of you that are still fighting this battle, love and hugs to you. I remember how hard Easter was for me last year watching all the kids hunt eggs and feeling sad that I may never have that chance. I hope I will see you on the other side soon. <3 <3 <3