Inspirational Stories

Here's the thing about those: I don't want to hear them. I think I speak for most people going through IF. We don't care if your mother's sister's cousin's friend got pregnant after 10 years of trying. Or if your father's aunt's dog walker gave up and then got knocked up because she relaxed. Those stories DO NOT HELP. It doesn't mean it will happen for us. I have a wonderful friend at school who has been there for me this past year. She has not had a loss nor did she have trouble conceiving, so when she decided to tell me a 15 minute "inspirational" story she didn't know it would frustrate me. I love this friend dearly. I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I listened. This pastor she knew couldn't conceive. He and his wife tried everything including IVF twice so they finally gave up. Then out of the blue someone the pastor had counseled at a youth retreat got pregnant at 17 and decided she wanted to give her baby to this pastor and his wife. This happened to them TWICE. Two different teenage mothers, two different free adoptions without all the paperwork, visits, and other crap adoptive parents are forced to go through. It really was a remarkable story and I know the point my friend was trying to make. She was trying to make me see that God does provide, even when you give up. But I don't want to sit around and wait for a miracle. I want to have non-scheduled, carefree sex with my husband and get knocked up without even thinking about it like so many other fertiles out there. I want to have a pregnancy without fear and worry. God can't provide that. That ship has sailed.
"Nature has got it all wrong: When you are younger, it should be harder to get pregnant, and as you get older it should be easier. When you are so ready, you can’t do it to save your life. And when you are 21, you are so not ready, but you are ripe as could be. The eggs should become more developed the older you get, not die slowly from the day you’re born. That’s one thing God got wrong.” – Halle Berry