Anatomy Scan

Before I tell you about my anatomy scan, I want to update about the sickness from last week. I did end up having to stay home from work Monday because my diarrhea was so horrible. I was up all night Sunday. I went to the doctor and she admitted she was worried about me. The OB and PCP both said they baby should be fine as long as I'm drinking lots of fluids. I was doing my best. My PCP was worried the c.diff wasn't gone. I had to give another stool sample, but it would take several days to get the results. Both doctors said it was okay to take Kaopectate in the meantime. That provided a tiny bit of relief, but I still spent Tuesday and Wednesday in misery. I went to work, but had to run to the bathroom multiple times and fight off waves of cramps and nausea all day. It was not fun, and I was frustrated with feeling like crap and also eating only the BRAT diet. It was getting old. Finally Thursday morning things felt like they were returning to normal. Yesterday I was able to eat and go to the bathroom like a normal person. I never thought a regular bathroom trip could make me so happy. The best news- my doctor's office called last night and I am NEGATIVE for c.diff. It must have been the F.lagyl that had me so screwed up. I hope I never have to take that crap again.

Now to the good part. My anatomy scan was Thursday. I woke up with knots in my stomach because I was so scared something would be wrong. DH and my grandma were both able to go. Our baby GIRL measured on track and looked healthy. She kept her legs tightly closed for a long time and the tech had to shake, poke, and prod trying to get her to move. Finally she got a shot from "underneath." More great news- my placenta has moved up and is no longer considered low lying and my cervix still looks great. Of course, my insides are still riddled with fibroids, but they don't seem to be affecting the baby.

There is one concern- my amniotic fluid was "low normal." Still in the normal range, but on the low end. My OB thinks it's because of the severe diarrhea I had earlier in the week and said to drink lots and lots of water. I thought I was getting enough but I guess the sickness took it's toll because I also lost 3 pounds. She wasn't overly concerned about the fluid or the weight loss, but of course now my worrying brain is going into overdrive. I've managed to keep myself from asking Dr. G.oogle about low amniotic fluid because I'm sure he will have evil things to say about it. I flooded myself with over 100 ounces of water yesterday and have already had almost 60 ounces this morning so hopefully things will look better at my next scan. I wouldn't be myself if I didn't have something to make me worry like crazy, right? My next appointment is April 26 and I will have another cervix check and my glucose test. I still can't believe how lucky we are. Here are some pictures of our precious little miracle. You can see the "money shot" on the bottom with her little bottom pointing at us.

More sickness

Warning- TMI post

Seriously, if it's not one thing it's another. A little over two weeks ago, when I thought I had the flu, my PCP asked me to collect a stool sample. I didn't hear anything for almost a week so I thought everything was fine. Nope. Apparently I have/had c. diff. Basically it's when you have too much bad bacteria and not enough good bacteria in your stool (similar to a vaginal infection). I am hating myself for stopping my probiotics during the first trimester. The doc assured me that as long as it's treated it's not detrimental to the baby and the OB said the same. She prescribed F.lagyl. I only had diarrhea for a day when I thought I had the flu, and everything had returned to normal since. Until a few days ago. It started Wednesday at the end of the school day. I had horrible cramping and diarrhea. Thursday morning was okay but then that afternoon I had to make several trips to the bathroom. Which is really fun with a 20 second graders. I either had to take an unscheduled class restroom break every time the diarrhea would hit or find someone to cover my class. We also don't have many private staff bathrooms so I would have to hunt for one. Fun times, fun times. Friday was the same. Yesterday I felt somewhat better during the day, then last night I went out to eat with my family. I had to get up FOUR times to use the bathroom in the restaurant. Finally my mom said, "Do you have the runs?" LOL. Yes, mom! Now, it's 6:45 am and I've been up since 3 am going to the bathroom on and off. Each time I think it's safe to go back to bed I have cramps again and have to get back up.

This is miserable. It clearly says on the prescription bottle "may cause diarrhea" and Dr. G.oogle has led me to several websites where people complain about how awful F.lagyl is. I have taken it before but I'm betting I just took an anti-diarrhea med or something because I wasn't pregnant and over analyzing everything I put into my body. Or it's possible it's affecting me differently this time because I am pregnant. Either way it sucks. This shit better go away soon. Literally. If it continues there is no way I can go to work tomorrow as I'm on the damn toilet every ten minutes. I took my last dose this morning so hopefully this well start to get better.

On the plus side I can feel the baby move around like crazy. She is probably hearing all the noises from my intestines and trying to get away from them! Even though I feel awful I am so grateful for my little miracle. I will gladly take many more months of sickness if it will bring my baby safely into the world. Keep growing little one, we love you so much!

22 weeks

Halfway There!

Holy cow, how did this happen? It seems like I just got my BFP and was counting the days until I would be in my second trimester! I am so grateful to be at this point. I am still in shock.

This past week was another bad week, health wise. I woke up Monday with a sore throat, but Tuesday I felt better so I thought it was drainage or something. Then Wednesday I woke up with nausea and horrible (sorry, TMI) diarrhea. Turns out the flu was going around my classroom. I went to see my PCP Wednesday and she all she could prescribe was Gatorade and rest. She said it was okay to not eat for a day as long as I stayed hydrated. She also wanted me to give a stool sample because of the diarrhea. That was um, fun. Not. Obviously I stayed home from school Wednesday. Thursday I woke up starving so I knew my stomach was feeling better. I went to school but the more I moved around the more congested and sluggish I got. By 10 a.m. I was barely moving. I somehow survived the day, but I stayed home again Friday to rest. I spent Friday and most of Saturday in a snotty, sneezy, daze. Yesterday and today I finally started to feel normal again. I hope I'm done with sickness for awhile!

Other than the sickness, things are going well. My gallbladder pain has eased a bit, and I'm feeling the baby move like crazy. It is so reassuring to feel those little twitches, although I can tell she is already sitting on my bladder. That will be fun as she gets heavier. Keep growing, baby girl, we hope to see you in about 20 more weeks!

Half-baked!

It's back....

Well, my gallbladder relief was short lived. I was in so much pain last week. I had felt so much better from my first attack a month ago that I'm afraid I overdid it with different foods. I felt even worse this time and it's really wearing on me. Saturday I almost had a breakdown in the middle of the grocery store. I held off and just called my mom crying from the car instead of melting down in public. I just don't know what to eat. I can eat something one day and be fine, then the next day it irritates my gallbladder. I have a food diary and I'm keeping track of everything so I know what triggers pain. I cut out all dairy- which I had mostly done except for milk with cereal anyway, but I switched to rice milk because I ate a few slices of cheese and figured out quickly that's a no no. I love cheese too :(. I spent all last week eating carefully and finally felt some relief yesterday. Today I had pain again (even though I ate "safe" foods that didn't bug me before) but the pain was moderate at least.

I also had my first trip to labor & delivery on Saturday. I was having such a hard day- in so much pain and frustrated with grocery shopping and not being able to eat. I kept having these cramps that would come and go. I figured it was just round ligament pain (RLP) but after taking Tylenol and a warm bath I didn't feel any relief. I started to panic and called the OB. Mine wasn't on call but the other OB in the practice called back. He said it was probably normal, but if Tylenol wasn't helping I could go to the hospital and get checked. Cue breakdown #2 of the day. I was home alone and had no idea when DH would get off, so I called my good friend B. She left her two kids with her husband and came over immediately (I'm so lucky to have her!) and drove me to the hospital. When I got there they debated sending me to the ER because technically they don't treat you in L&D until 20 weeks. I was 18 weeks 5 days so they let me stay. As soon as I got checked in, DH showed up so B went home. They hooked me up to a monitor and used the doppler on Baby T. I also gave a urine sample to rule out a UTI. After an hour, it was obvious I wasn't having contractions, and my urine came back clean so they attributed the pain to stretching and RLP. Once I actually got into the hospital bed and felt the pain there, I realized it was a lot milder than I thought. My anxiety was making it so much worse at home.

It is comforting to know that I can go to L&D and get checked so easily. They didn't make me feel silly or stupid or like I overreacted. I am very glad I went because it gave me peace of mind and then I didn't freak out all night. I think weekends are the most difficult for me because I'm alone most of the time and I'm not very busy. At school I go nonstop so I don't pay much attention to any minor aches I may have. This could be bad because after week 32 I will be out of school and be home. I hope I don't become a frequent flyer in L&D! I need to find ways to keep myself busy.

On top of all this, I have a chest cold now. I had 7 students absent today (out of 20) so there is something nasty going around my classroom. I really hope whatever I have doesn't get worse, because right now it's tolerable. Despite all these issues, I am still extremely grateful and thrilled to be pregnant. I told my mom that I feel guilty being upset about my pain because of course I will do ANYTHING to keep this baby. She said it's okay to be upset- pregnant women are not supposed to spend 9 months in pain, and I can hate the pain and situation but still love the pregnancy. I'm going to see my PCP again this week to ask if there is anything else that I can do for my gallbladder. I haven't gained any weight at my last 3 OB appointments. My OB isn't concerned, because Baby T is obviously growing, but I've got to find a way to fill myself up and eat comfortably. I will figure this out!

 

19 weeks. Keep growing, baby (girl?)!

It's a......

GIRL. Well, maybe. The tech said she thinks it's a girl and she showed us the folds of what she thought was a labia. She also said this is "between us" and she's not "documenting it" until my anatomy scan on March 29. We are not rushing out to buy anything pink just yet. I am so excited and thankful (just for a healthy baby, not because it's a girl). My cervix looked great, but my placenta is still low (my husband joked that he's giving up sex for Lent, hahaha), so I'm still on pelvic rest. Also the fibroids are still there, but my OB doesn't seem too concerned about any of this so I guess I should follow her lead and STOP WORRYING. She told me to stop reading the pregnancy books and just enjoy this because things are looking great. I will try.

Here is the positive side of infertility and loss. I really don't think I could be more grateful for this baby. Each time I see her (or him?) on the screen or hear the heartbeat I am amazed at this miracle that I've been given. It is truly amazing how we are brought into this world. How everything lines up just right and a life is created. Even today looking at my u/s pics, I can't believe that there is this tiny human growing and developing inside my body. I feel like I am the luckiest person on the planet. I am so incredibly grateful for the chance to have what DH and I created together. Pieces of both our DNA came together to make a person. So remarkable and precious. Again, I swear I am the luckiest person alive. Is this really my life?

18 weeks! Keep growing, baby. We love you so much!

Sweet Relief

I have felt much better this week, and I am so grateful. I think it's a combination of eating smaller portions, less processed food, and acupuncture. Last week my acupuncture doc left a needle in my ear- it's a small, flesh colored bandage with a needle attached to it- and he told me to push on it when I had gallbladder pain because there's a gallbladder point in the ear. It really seemed to help. I know some people think it's hokey, but I've gone to acupuncture for a variety of things and it works. Last year during all my vag itching drama acupuncture was the ONLY thing that helped.

I had two other doctor's appointments this week, one with my primary care physician and one with my OB. The PCP appointment was a follow-up for my gallbladder, but I also asked her to swabbed my vag because I've been itching lately. I had been comfortable down there- actually I was surprised when the OB found a bacterial infection. I used the antibiotic cream for a week, but after I finished the cream I started itching. I had stopped taking my probiotics when I got a BFP (out of fear- which was a stupid move because they are SAFE!), and I think this made me more susceptible to an infection. Plus I was on progesterone suppositories for several weeks during first tri and no matter how thoroughly I washed my hands- well, I was still sticking something up my vag twice a day. Anyway, my PCP did a wet swab and looked at it under a microscope. I suspected the cream had given me a yeast infection, but she didn't see any yeast. She said my pH was a little alkaline, but otherwise healthy. On Thursday I saw my OB and she did another swab to check for bacteria. They called Friday and I was given the a-okay, no infection! I think my vag just likes to be dramatic. Now I can stop worrying about BV causing pre-term labor. But- I have a long list of other things I'm worrying about.

My next u/s is February 28. Hopefully DH will be able to come because he hasn't been to any appointments yet. It is very difficult for him to get off work. I will be 18 weeks and I'm hoping the tech will tell us the sex. Otherwise I have to wait until my anatomy scan on March 29. I don't want to wait that long, and I know DH can't come to that appointment because it's later in the day. So our fingers are crossed- but hopefully baby T's legs won't be! I think I'm starting to feel movement. I've felt little nudges and flutters, but it's so difficult to tell if it's the baby. In the meantime I've become addicted to the doppler. I think I mentioned in a previous post that my friend Miranda from my online support group loaned it to me. Thanks, Miranda- it's been a lifesaver and I so appreciate your generosity! Anyway, I started using it twice a day when I was feeling so terrible and now I can't stop. It's just such a sweet sound and so reassuring. On Thursday at the OB's office the nurse pointed out that the little whooshes I hear are the baby moving around. I think I will use it less when I feel more movement, but we'll see. Here is my 17 week bump pic. My weight has actually been down the last two weeks because of all the gallbladder drama but my belly is popping out anyway. Oh, and those are my $3 Old Navy maternity jeans from the Goodwill- score!

I love you so much, baby T. Please keep growing!

Pain, pain, go away

This was a rough week for me. Baby T is still doing great, which is the most important thing, but I have felt terrible. I've always had a fairly sensitive stomach and I get heartburn and reflux easily. So it's no surprise that pregnancy made this worse, I was expecting that. What I wasn't expecting was excruciating gallbladder pain. The Friday before the Superbowl I ate a buffalo chicken pizza for lunch, and pizza for dinner. I had a little nagging pain around my gallbladder but nothing horrible. Saturday I was okay, and Sunday I was okay until around 11 p.m. I ate lots of spicy dip at our neighbor's house during the Superbowl and had trouble sleeping because of the pain and acid in my throat. Monday morning was a little rough, but again, not too horrible. For lunch Monday I had lasagna. About 30 minutes after I ate I thought I was going to fall over. My gallbladder hurt so, so, so bad I could barely stand. I called my primary care doctor and my acupuncturist and made appointments. I don't know how I made it through the afternoon. That evening at acupuncture he put a few needles in my ear and encouraged me to go on a bland diet and not eat anything heavy. He also said that gallbladder issues are common in pregnancy. The baby takes all the good stuff and leaves the mom with the cholesterol and bad stuff. The extra estrogen from pregnancy isn't good for the gallbladder either.

Tuesday I saw my primary care doctor, Dr. S. I had only eaten bread and noodles since the night before and it seemed to help a bit, but I was still in so much pain. I can't even describe it. I felt like my rib was poking my insides or something. All I wanted to do was lay down and not move. It makes it hard to teach 20 second graders that way! Dr. S. felt around my ribs and nothing was painful to the touch, so she thought it was reflux also. She ordered an ultrasound just in case, and prescribed C.arafate to help my stomach "heal." My ultrasound was clear and showed no stones.

The next few days I continued to have horrible pain. I was following the bland diet and eating foods that are supposed to help the gallbladder, but I still hurt so much. It was hard to plan my meals, because I have just been eating whatever tasted good at the time since I became pregnant. I threw a short pity party- then I had to stop and kick myself. Come on! This is what I've wanted for so long, and I'm going to sit and cry because of pain and some diet restrictions? I'm going to feel sorry for myself because I can't eat the ice cream and cake that's in the fridge??? Get.over.it. A million women would trade places with me in a second. I got my doppler out and listened to baby T. This helped me gain perspective. So what if I can only eat bread and noodles for the next 24 for weeks? So freaking what?

Yesterday and today brought some relief. I still feel a dull ache, but it's not terrible. My mom did a lot of research for me and helped me plan some snacks and meals. She came over today and we went to the grocery. I've discovered that eating tiny portions and staying away from processed foods makes a big difference. This is healthier for baby T anyway. I hope as I continue the diet I will feel more and more relief. I recorded the baby's heartbeat on my phone so if I have pain or get frustrated I can quickly remind myself what all this is for. Whatever it takes, baby. I love you so much already!

Here is my 15 week bump pic. He or she is growing in there!