The Exciting Life of a Baby

I've been so busy lately there hasn't been much time to blog. Lots has happened in our lives in the last month though! I went back to work last week. It was difficult, but we managed. Sadie was an angel at the sitter and made everyone fall in love with her. I'm so lucky to have my sitter- she's wonderful and I feel completely comfortable with her taking care of my daughter. She is the wife of a coworker. She is also a nurse, but stays home now with their 4 kids. They are all boys- 6, 5, 3, and 1. You might think she has her hands full with all of those boys plus Sadie, but she is amazing. She handles 5 kids better than I handle one. Every Wednesday she takes the kids to story time at the library (she brings her mom along for help) and this past week they held it at a local pumpkin patch.

Here is Sadie enjoying all the pumpkins. Or sleeping.

Even though Sadie is just a few months old, the thought of her going to weekly story time excites me. You're never too young to start reading! This week they have trick or treat at the library so I am sending Sadie's costume. We weren't going to do a costume besides her Thing 2 outfit (more on that in a minute) but I found an elephant costume at a garage sale for 50 cents! Score!

The best part about my sitter is that she is less than 5 minutes from the school. I ran over each day (except Wednesday) and nursed her at lunch. I thought I would be so rushed, and I am, but once I get there it's nice to sit down and relax for 15 minutes or so with my girl. Plus it gives me a break from the pump. Next week I have recess duty so I'm not sure when I will eat lunch, but I will figure it out. It's a small sacrifice to make for my little girl who will grow up so fast. Pumping has been going well too. Since I've been nursing at lunch, Sadie has taken less than 8 ounces from a bottle each day. I pump once each day during my plan and still had almost 18 ounces left over to freeze on Friday! I'm so glad I can keep up with what she eats. I think it makes a big difference that my sitter nursed all her boys (and still nurses her youngest) because she will hold her off if I'm coming soon because she knows that I will have to pump if I don't nurse. Again, I am so blessed to have her.

Sadie also became a traveling girl. We took a mini vacation to Boston to visit some dear friends and see the sights. She was an angel. She slept almost the whole 20 hour drive (with nursing/changing stops) and slept in the stroller during most of our sight seeing. We got very good at nursing (discreetly) in public. One my favorite places was on the 50th floor of Prudential Tower. There were no chairs, so we just plopped down on the floor with my nursing cover. She also ate on a park bench and in several restaurants. The best part of vacation was spending time with one of my best friends that I have known since elementary school. Her son is about 5 months older than Sadie.

Sam and Sadie sittin in a tree....

Getting off the T at Harvard. You can tell Sadie is really enjoying herself. Or sleeping.

Yesterday we had a very exciting day. A couple of years ago Shorty and I entered a pet costume contest at a local outdoor mall, and it's become a yearly tradition. The first year she was a banana and I was a gorilla. Last year she was a Dayton Dragons cheerleader. This contest is serious. People go ALL OUT. So I knew we had to be extra awesome to win a prize. My wonderful sister-in-law got Shorty and Sadie Thing 1 and Thing 2 shirts as a shower gift last May. My talented grandma took an adult wig and separated it to make a wig for Shorty and Sadie. I dressed up as the Cat in the Hat.

We got second place in the pet/owner duo category! It was so much fun! I remember last year telling my grandma, "I hope I have a baby to bring next year." Of course, I thought I would have a baby through the gift of adoption. Little did I know we would be so blessed with Sadie. I am the luckiest mom in the world. I'll leave you with some more costume pictures and I'll be back in a few day to post her 3 month update (sob! My baby is growing too fast!).

My stepsister, Apryl. She lives in KY and met Sadie for the first time yesterday.

Shorty is thinking "Why do you people do this to me?"

Sadie says "Yeah, I know I rock the blue hair. I'm awesome."

2 months old

Where has the time gone? I can't believe Sadie is 2 months old already. 

 

Age: 2 months

Weight: 11 pounds 4 ounces

Length: 23 inches

Size: Completely out of newborn clothes :( and in 0-3, mostly 3 months. She also fits into our cloth diapers now. We haven't completely made the switch but hope to soon.

Hair: Still dark, getting very long on the sides and filling in a little at the top. She still has "male pattern baldness," but it is adorable.

Teeth: Not yet, but she has been drooling a lot lately!

Sleeping: She is still a good sleeper. She will go anywhere between 4-6 hours at night. One night she gave me 6 1/2 hours! She usually has one long nap during the day and several cat naps.

Eating: Exclusively breast milk. Now that I made it past the first six weeks, I am determined that she be exclusively breastfed until she is a year old.

Movement: She has great head control. She looks like a bobblehead, but can hold it up herself fairly well. She can sit in the little seat I have for her (similar to a Bumbo) for a few minutes. She can also roll from belly to back! She hates tummy time so she had to figure out how to get out of that :). The first time I thought it was an accident but now she consistently rolls. It's not easy for her though. Sometimes it takes a good 5 minutes of work! She is also grabbing at things some. She has gotten my hair a few times.

Milestones: Smiling! She smiles like crazy when I talk to her. It's so adorable. Rolling, 2 month appointment with her first set of vaccines, going shopping several times with mom and nana.

Favorite Toys/Activities: Nursing, looking at ceiling fans and lights.

Dislikes: Tummy time, waiting to eat, trying to fall asleep. She will fight and fight going to sleep sometimes.

Words & Sounds: She does her fake cry, which is starting to sound more like a shout, and she does some babbling. She tries to imitate me when I coo at her (if only she would imitate me when I pretend to sleep!)

Reflections on PAIL

PAIL= Parenting After Loss or Infertility.

After reading this post from a fellow PAIL blogger, this has been brewing in my head for awhile, I just haven't had much time to write. Katie and her husband just adopted a baby after years of fertility treatments, and she writes about parenthood on her blog From If to When.  Suddenly you are on the other side, while those who were on the journey with you are still waiting for their happy ending. It's difficult not to feel a sense of guilt for overcoming infertility and loss. I felt it during my pregnancy and often wondered why God chose to bless me while so many others still suffer and remain childless. Katie also writes about how being a parent- whether PAIL or not- is hard. Really hard. After wanting a child so bad, you think you have to be a perfect parent, which is just not possible.

Taking care of a baby is all consuming. There are days when I am overwhelmed and all I want is a moment to myself. There have been a few days where Sadie is fussy and I feel like I can't do anything right. But I will say that PAIL has made me a better mom. Even when I'm in the thick of it- those moments when I feel like a total failure- I look at my daughter and I am overwhelmed with emotion. I am so grateful for her, especially on the tough days. Because I get to have tough days. I get to experience the exhaustion and difficulty of being a parent. Even when I'm nursing at 3 am, I can stare at Sadie and realize how lucky I am to be awake in the middle of the night with my baby. My 1% baby that my RE said I probably wouldn't have. I would never wish the pain of infertility or loss on anyone, but for me, I am grateful for it. Every day I get to look at a miracle. Not everyone can say that.

Professional Photos

We had some one month pictures taken of Sadie. Here are some of my faves.

1 Month Old

 I stole this template from my friend S so I can do monthly updates. Hope you don't mind, S. How is my baby getting so big?!

Age: 1 month

Weight: About 8 lbs 8 oz (using a non digital baby scale I have at home)

Length: 20 3/4 inches at 2 week appointment.

Size: She is almost completely out of NB sized clothes and diapers :(. Some of the 0-3 months are still a little big though.

Hair: Still dark, getting very long on the sides and filling in a little at the top. It drives DH crazy that she is "bald" on top.

Teeth: Not yet!

Sleeping: She is a good sleeper so far. She will do between 3-5 hours at night and takes 2-3 hour naps during the day.

Eating: Exclusively breast milk. She is doing wonderful and I feel so fortunate to have such a great nurser. The only issue we have is my fast letdown makes her gulp so we have to burp often. She has taken several pumped bottles from other people (she won't be fooled into taking one from me!).

Movement: Her neck is getting so strong! We don't have to support her head as much. She follows us with her eyes, and pushes off my chest with her legs when she is mad.

Milestones: Learning to like the swing and walks in the stroller. She is also reacting more to sounds and her burps and farts have startled her a couple times.

Favorite Toys/Activities: Eating, eating, eating. Also eating. Oh and sleeping.

Dislikes: Getting her clothes changed, waiting to eat, and getting dressed after a bath. She doesn't seem to mind the actual bath, it's when she is wet and I'm trying to dry her off and dress her that she really gets mad. She also hates when we first strap her in her carseat. Sorry girl, it needs to be snug!

Words & Sounds: She does a lot of grunting in her sleep. I've learned to distinguish between her fake cry and real cry. Her fake cries sound a little like a duck...lol.

Birth Story

I'm very late in getting my birth story here, but I want to write it all out so I don't forget anything. Sadie and I are doing well. I can't believe she is a month old already!

The days leading up to Sadie's birth were filled with emotion. The end of my pregnancy was such a bittersweet time. I was so excited to meet her, but yet I was mourning the loss of my belly. I never thought I would be pregnant. I am so thankful and grateful I got to experience having her grow inside me. I went to the pool on the Saturday before her birth, and I cried when I left because it may be the last time I ever wore my maternity swim suit, and also because I knew it would be a long time before I would go to the pool alone again. My grandma came and picked up Shorty up the next day. I cried again. I felt guilty because I knew my little furry baby's life was going to change forever. That dog got me through one of the darkest times of my life and will always be my first "baby." I was also thinking about how it has been me and DH for 9 years. That was all about to change.

My c-section was scheduled for 12 pm on Monday, July 23. We had to be at the hospital at 10 am. I was extremely uncomfortable because I had a raging yeast infection so that kept my nerves at bay. We arrived at the hospital about 5 minutes late. My MIL and SIL were already there, and the nurse that checked me in was a parent of a former student. Small world. We had to answer many questions and sign lots of paperwork before they took me back. I changed into my gown, got my IV, and they put the monitor on. They took my fingerprints. It was so surreal to put my fingerprint where it said "mother." DH sat with me while doctors came in and out and asked me tons of questions. The senior anesthesiologist turned out to be an old Cub Scout buddy of DH's. He explained that a first year resident would be doing my spinal. Awesome. Lots of family came in and out while we waited to go to the OR. My mom, stepdad, brother, grandma, cousin, MIL, SIL, and two close friends from school were all there. My FIL, nephew, brother, and SIL came later.

Finally the nurse came to put my catheter in and take me back. My yeast infection had me all swollen and the nurse had a rough time getting it in. It was extremely painful- so much so that once I got to the OR I didn't care about the spinal because I knew I wouldn't feel the catheter anymore! One of the nurses held my body forward as the two anesthesiologists talked the resident through my spinal. It went well and they started checking me for numbness. At that point DH came in with his spacesuit (lol). He held my hand as they began the procedure. It was so strange laying there and not being able to see what was going on, but feeling the pressure of them touching me. The attending anesthesiologist started talking me through everything. She told me when they broke my water and then she said "there's her head!" As soon as she said that I heard Sadie cry and felt immense pressure. I looked at DH and said "she's crying" and immediately burst into tears. The next several minutes were a blur as they pulled Sadie out, weighed her, and cleaned her. DH cut the rest of her cord and they brought her to me. I don't remember much of that.

They took Sadie to the nursery, and DH went with her while they stitched me up. Turns out I had a huge fibroid at the top of my uterus. My OB couldn't get my uterus out to stitch it up, which she said has never happened to her. Awesome. So she had to stitch me up by feel. She said if I have another c/s (if I'm lucky enough!) she definitely wants the other OB to be there to help her stitch me. Hopefully she was about to put everything back in its place. During all of this I had really bad shoulder pain so they gave me morphine, which made me even more out of it.

I don't remember being wheeled into recovery, but the next thing I knew DH was there with Sadie and two nurses were helping me breastfeed. She did well. Then DH said he hadn't told anyone her name so ALL the visitors came into my room and we told them that her name was Sadie. I remember her being passed around and then eating lots of Jello and pudding because I was starving! I also remember thinking my legs were attached to someone else's body because the nurse would move them and I couldn't feel a thing. It was so weird.

The next few days were painful for me- I was so sore from the c/s and also had nipple pain from breastfeeding. Despite all that, I really enjoyed being in the hospital with DH and with Sadie. I cried when we got home because many of the "firsts" were already over, but I know there are many more to come. I am so lucky to be a mom. I still can't believe it.

 I'll leave you with some pictures taken after her birth, and also her one month pics.

Leaving for the hospital

I don't know why this keeps posting sideways!

Just pulled out!

Lost in Newborn Land

Sorry it's been so long since I updated. These last 2 weeks have been a crazy, sleep deprived, blissful fog. My days pass and I look back and wonder what I did. Basically I feed Sadie, change Sadie, put her down to sleep, and then we start all over again. My friend S described it perfectly. "The days are short but the minutes are long." Motherhood is hard. Way harder than I ever imagined, but soooo worth it.

Breastfeeding is also very difficult. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. I wanted to quit so many times during the first week. I stuck it out during the second week, and now things are getting easier. Sadie is still eating every 3-4 hours so she's basically attached to my breast 24/7, but she is thriving and has gained 13 ounces since we left the hospital. She lost 10 ounces after birth so we are so pleased with her progress. After being so angry with my body during our journey through miscarriage and infertility, it feels amazing to know that things are actually working right and I'm able to feed my little girl.

The most difficult thing about breastfeeding is that it's all YOU. I can't be away from her for more than 2 hours because if she gets hungry, no one else can feed her. It's overwhelming, but it's also amazing and I really enjoy the closeness I feel when I nurse her. I'm working with a lactation consultant who is going to help me start pumping so DH can give her bottles occasionally. When I go back to work in October, I will hopefully pump enough for Sadie to get through the day, then nurse her at night. I've been using a great product called Milk Savers (check it out on Amazon) and I've already froze 8 ounces of breast milk just from leaking on the opposite side.

That's it for now- I have to take a shower while I have the chance. I'll leave you with some pictures of our sweet girl.

Happy Family

I'm hungry!

Sweet sleeper

Always still room for the furry baby