1 Month Old

 I stole this template from my friend S so I can do monthly updates. Hope you don't mind, S. How is my baby getting so big?!

Age: 1 month

Weight: About 8 lbs 8 oz (using a non digital baby scale I have at home)

Length: 20 3/4 inches at 2 week appointment.

Size: She is almost completely out of NB sized clothes and diapers :(. Some of the 0-3 months are still a little big though.

Hair: Still dark, getting very long on the sides and filling in a little at the top. It drives DH crazy that she is "bald" on top.

Teeth: Not yet!

Sleeping: She is a good sleeper so far. She will do between 3-5 hours at night and takes 2-3 hour naps during the day.

Eating: Exclusively breast milk. She is doing wonderful and I feel so fortunate to have such a great nurser. The only issue we have is my fast letdown makes her gulp so we have to burp often. She has taken several pumped bottles from other people (she won't be fooled into taking one from me!).

Movement: Her neck is getting so strong! We don't have to support her head as much. She follows us with her eyes, and pushes off my chest with her legs when she is mad.

Milestones: Learning to like the swing and walks in the stroller. She is also reacting more to sounds and her burps and farts have startled her a couple times.

Favorite Toys/Activities: Eating, eating, eating. Also eating. Oh and sleeping.

Dislikes: Getting her clothes changed, waiting to eat, and getting dressed after a bath. She doesn't seem to mind the actual bath, it's when she is wet and I'm trying to dry her off and dress her that she really gets mad. She also hates when we first strap her in her carseat. Sorry girl, it needs to be snug!

Words & Sounds: She does a lot of grunting in her sleep. I've learned to distinguish between her fake cry and real cry. Her fake cries sound a little like a duck...lol.

Birth Story

I'm very late in getting my birth story here, but I want to write it all out so I don't forget anything. Sadie and I are doing well. I can't believe she is a month old already!

The days leading up to Sadie's birth were filled with emotion. The end of my pregnancy was such a bittersweet time. I was so excited to meet her, but yet I was mourning the loss of my belly. I never thought I would be pregnant. I am so thankful and grateful I got to experience having her grow inside me. I went to the pool on the Saturday before her birth, and I cried when I left because it may be the last time I ever wore my maternity swim suit, and also because I knew it would be a long time before I would go to the pool alone again. My grandma came and picked up Shorty up the next day. I cried again. I felt guilty because I knew my little furry baby's life was going to change forever. That dog got me through one of the darkest times of my life and will always be my first "baby." I was also thinking about how it has been me and DH for 9 years. That was all about to change.

My c-section was scheduled for 12 pm on Monday, July 23. We had to be at the hospital at 10 am. I was extremely uncomfortable because I had a raging yeast infection so that kept my nerves at bay. We arrived at the hospital about 5 minutes late. My MIL and SIL were already there, and the nurse that checked me in was a parent of a former student. Small world. We had to answer many questions and sign lots of paperwork before they took me back. I changed into my gown, got my IV, and they put the monitor on. They took my fingerprints. It was so surreal to put my fingerprint where it said "mother." DH sat with me while doctors came in and out and asked me tons of questions. The senior anesthesiologist turned out to be an old Cub Scout buddy of DH's. He explained that a first year resident would be doing my spinal. Awesome. Lots of family came in and out while we waited to go to the OR. My mom, stepdad, brother, grandma, cousin, MIL, SIL, and two close friends from school were all there. My FIL, nephew, brother, and SIL came later.

Finally the nurse came to put my catheter in and take me back. My yeast infection had me all swollen and the nurse had a rough time getting it in. It was extremely painful- so much so that once I got to the OR I didn't care about the spinal because I knew I wouldn't feel the catheter anymore! One of the nurses held my body forward as the two anesthesiologists talked the resident through my spinal. It went well and they started checking me for numbness. At that point DH came in with his spacesuit (lol). He held my hand as they began the procedure. It was so strange laying there and not being able to see what was going on, but feeling the pressure of them touching me. The attending anesthesiologist started talking me through everything. She told me when they broke my water and then she said "there's her head!" As soon as she said that I heard Sadie cry and felt immense pressure. I looked at DH and said "she's crying" and immediately burst into tears. The next several minutes were a blur as they pulled Sadie out, weighed her, and cleaned her. DH cut the rest of her cord and they brought her to me. I don't remember much of that.

They took Sadie to the nursery, and DH went with her while they stitched me up. Turns out I had a huge fibroid at the top of my uterus. My OB couldn't get my uterus out to stitch it up, which she said has never happened to her. Awesome. So she had to stitch me up by feel. She said if I have another c/s (if I'm lucky enough!) she definitely wants the other OB to be there to help her stitch me. Hopefully she was about to put everything back in its place. During all of this I had really bad shoulder pain so they gave me morphine, which made me even more out of it.

I don't remember being wheeled into recovery, but the next thing I knew DH was there with Sadie and two nurses were helping me breastfeed. She did well. Then DH said he hadn't told anyone her name so ALL the visitors came into my room and we told them that her name was Sadie. I remember her being passed around and then eating lots of Jello and pudding because I was starving! I also remember thinking my legs were attached to someone else's body because the nurse would move them and I couldn't feel a thing. It was so weird.

The next few days were painful for me- I was so sore from the c/s and also had nipple pain from breastfeeding. Despite all that, I really enjoyed being in the hospital with DH and with Sadie. I cried when we got home because many of the "firsts" were already over, but I know there are many more to come. I am so lucky to be a mom. I still can't believe it.

 I'll leave you with some pictures taken after her birth, and also her one month pics.

Leaving for the hospital

I don't know why this keeps posting sideways!

Just pulled out!

Lost in Newborn Land

Sorry it's been so long since I updated. These last 2 weeks have been a crazy, sleep deprived, blissful fog. My days pass and I look back and wonder what I did. Basically I feed Sadie, change Sadie, put her down to sleep, and then we start all over again. My friend S described it perfectly. "The days are short but the minutes are long." Motherhood is hard. Way harder than I ever imagined, but soooo worth it.

Breastfeeding is also very difficult. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. I wanted to quit so many times during the first week. I stuck it out during the second week, and now things are getting easier. Sadie is still eating every 3-4 hours so she's basically attached to my breast 24/7, but she is thriving and has gained 13 ounces since we left the hospital. She lost 10 ounces after birth so we are so pleased with her progress. After being so angry with my body during our journey through miscarriage and infertility, it feels amazing to know that things are actually working right and I'm able to feed my little girl.

The most difficult thing about breastfeeding is that it's all YOU. I can't be away from her for more than 2 hours because if she gets hungry, no one else can feed her. It's overwhelming, but it's also amazing and I really enjoy the closeness I feel when I nurse her. I'm working with a lactation consultant who is going to help me start pumping so DH can give her bottles occasionally. When I go back to work in October, I will hopefully pump enough for Sadie to get through the day, then nurse her at night. I've been using a great product called Milk Savers (check it out on Amazon) and I've already froze 8 ounces of breast milk just from leaking on the opposite side.

That's it for now- I have to take a shower while I have the chance. I'll leave you with some pictures of our sweet girl.

Happy Family

I'm hungry!

Sweet sleeper

Always still room for the furry baby

A dream come true

Help! There is a baby in my house and I don't know how she got here! This is still so surreal.

I will post more of my birth story and how the past few days have gone later, but for now I just want to share that Sadie Dawn arrived at 12:51 p.m. on Monday, July 23. She weighed exactly 7 lbs and is 20 3/4" long. We are beyond blessed to have her. Here are a few pictures for now, and I will write more in the next few days as we settle into a routine at home.

It's time!

I am in disbelief. I can't believe I will be having a baby tomorrow. I am on an emotional roller coaster. One minute I can't wait to get her out, the next minute I sad because I may never be pregnant again. I'm trying to enjoy this last day with her inside me- feeling those little kicks and rolls. I am sure of one thing I feel- GRATEFUL. I am so blessed to have experienced the miracle of pregnancy. The gallbladder pain, c.diff, colds, swelling, all the issues I've had- I would take them all 100 times over. I am so lucky. Tomorrow my dream will come true. I will get to hug and kiss my little girl. I will get to see what DH and I created together. I am so thankful for this wonderful journey and gift.

The past week has been a little rough. My legs and ankles have been swelling a lot. If I don't keep my left leg elevated, it starts to feel like a giant stump and is hard to move. I joked and told my mom she should call me Stumpy. Now I know what people meant when they said to me, "Oh, you're due in July?" I've packed on the pounds this last month, but I have a feeling 10 pounds of it is water and fluid. I also have a raging yeast infection- my second one this pregnancy. I will have to use my final dose of Mon.istat tomorrow night at the hospital. That should be fun. But as I said above, I would do it all over again. Baby girl T, you are 100%- no 200%- worth all of this. I can't wait to meet you!

My last belly pic!

Full Term and Finished Nursery

How did this happen? Somehow I made it! Baby T, you're almost done cooking. I can't believe we will get to meet you in a couple weeks. I go between being so excited that she's almost here, to crying because I may never be pregnant again and get to experience feeling something grow inside me. I've been very emotional this week. I cried yesterday at the pool when I saw a little girl crying. Her mom was holding her and she was fine, but hearing the sound just made me tear up. Soon we will hear that sound. I still have a lot of freak out moments, especially now that the nursery is finished. I keep thinking, "What if we don't really get to bring her home?" I pray multiple times a day that this ends well. It's the only thing I can do. I also read the worrying passing I shared a few posts ago over and over again. Here are some nursery pics and my 37 week belly pic. We spelled out her name above her crib, but since that is a surprise I took it down for the pics. I took the pics on my phone so they are not the best quality.

My grandma made the curtains and valances for us.

Grandma also made the crib skirt and diaper stacker.

That is my brother's changing table from 22 years ago.

Our storage unit from I.kea

The dress I wore home from the hospital 31 years ago.

The luckiest girl alive at 37 weeks. Ignore my wet hair and no makeup!

36 weeks

Wow. I'm really pregnant. Almost full term pregnant. It's so amazing, I still can't believe it.

This weekend we had a big storm and our power went out Friday night around 5. The power part wasn't that bad- I can deal without lights & t.v. It was the no air conditioning that really sucked. I slept like crap Friday night, then Saturday we stayed at my parent's house so we could cool down. We worked on the baby's room yesterday, and by 2 p.m. I had to stop because my feet swelled up like giant sausages. I finally sat in front of a box fan and cried (we had a generator, but all it could power was our fridge and one fan). Pregnancy hormones and extreme heat are a bad combo. DH didn't say a word, he just turned the fan towards me and let me cry. Our power came back on last night around 7:30. I have never been so grateful for electricity. I'm also thankful that we didn't have any storm damage and that neither of us were hurt.

I had my last shower this weekend at my in-laws. I put together a photo album of all of baby T's ultrasound pics and the belly pics I take weekly. I also did something really FHy, and I apologize in advance. I made a slideshow of my belly pics to share. I couldn't figure out how to get it in this post, so here is a link if you want to check it out. I will post nursery pics soon!