It's all good... maybe too good

So I'm in the middle of my first fertility cycle. Things have gone fairly well, aside from a few "Clomid crazies." Are you afraid of the dark? Apparently Clomid convinces me I am. I've been waking up at night sweating and thinking that someone or something is in the house watching me. I've also had a constant feeling of anxiety during the day. I took my last dose Monday so things have subsided a little, plus I've been drugging myself up with Ambien at night.

Today was my SHG (sonohystogram), which is a test to give the doctor information about my uterus, tubes, and ovaries. A catheter is inserted and saline is squirted into the catheter so the doctor can the shape of my uterus and if fluid flows through my tubes. My right tube and right ovary looked great and had a good size follie. My left tube looked okay; the saline didn't flow as freely and the follie was smaller. I was sooo nervous about this test being painful and it was pretty similar to a pap smear. I had some mild cramping but nothing I couldn't handle. I've always had this belief that I am a wimp, but last night I was thinking about all the procedures I've had done, and I'm pretty proud of myself. I've had a cavity drilled and filled with no anesthetic, I've had Lasik (not painful but scary was hell), I had a EMG in my neck where a doctor repeated shoved a needle into my muscle, I've had a chunk of skin removed from my thigh for a biopsy (those tiny shots at the dermatologist are more painful than any other shot!), I've had multiple surgeries, and I've survived all of them (most of them alone) without incident. So maybe I'm not such a wimp after all.

So tonight I trigger, which means DH will give me an HCG shot that will induce ovulation. He is not excited about that, but he doesn't have a choice. Then tonight we have sex just to be on the safe side, and Friday morning DH goes in at 7:30 am to give his semen, and I come in at 10 a.m. for the IUI. This is when I start to think things are going too well. I'm on Spring Break this week so I haven't had to take off work. I've been free for any appointment needed. DH mentioned that he hoped our IUI would be on Friday because he is already going in late to work because of another appointment. I haven't had any cysts, the test wasn't painful, and my lining and everything looked good. It just seems too easy. I'm afraid we will pay for it in a couple of weeks when the pregnancy test is negative. I'm trying to be an optimist.... but it's difficult given the heartbreak of our TTC journey. I know I can't control the outcome by my feelings, so I guess I'll just try to be positive and wait and see. This will be the longest two week wait ever.